Jess: Oh, hi. Schmidt is very fond of you.
Brooke: Um, look, I..I don't know...I don't even know him that well, okay?
Jess: Oh, I'm just cutting off my underwear, you know, girl stuff. [groans] Ah. So tight. Well, it's been really nice chatting with you but I've got a pretend boyfriend to hunt down, I think he's cheating on me [brandishing a palette knife] and don't break Schmidt's heart, or you'll have me to deal with.