Cece: We just came back from Lillypads and we need your help.
Schmidt: We were picking up our paperwork when we ran into that supervillain/wax figure/ former best friend of mine, Benjamin.
[flashback:]
Benjamin: Have you gotten your kid ready for this interview yet? We got ourselves a 365 tutor, baby. Christmas, New Year's Eve, Fourth of July, we own this man's ass.
Cece: W-What are they getting tested on?
Benjamin: Draw a face. Cut a circle. Know colors. Make eye contact.
Schmidt: I'm sorry, hold on. I'm sorry, at three? How could a child... [tuneful melody] Is that your boy over there
playing the piccolo?
Benjamin: Oh, yeah. That's my seed, all right.
[present:]
Schmidt: I had to lay down. At which point, Benjamin's child started giving me shiatsu.
Jess: Oh.
Schmidt: Which is apparently another thing he knows how to do.