Jess: Anyway, I just have to wear this thing for the next few days just as a precaution.
Schmidt: Well, if you want to cover it up, Cece gave me a scarf that's perfect. It's long enough to wrap around an above-ground pool filled with Alfredo sauce. Alfredo sauce. Doesn't that sound good?
Jess: Not really.
Schmidt: I don't know. Maybe Cece's right. Maybe I am turning into a fat man.
Jess: Cece never called you fat.
Schmidt: Well, I am. I'm a fat man married to a hot woman. Cool, I'm a sitcom.
Jess: That sounds like a great show. Throw in a wacky neighbor, I'm watching.
Jess: Maybe the reason why you don't want to go to the gym is 'cause you want to hang out with your beautiful wife. Right? And you're fat and happy because you're happy.
Schmidt: You're right. I'm a lucky man.
Jess: A Lucky Man should be the name of your show. You're a beleaguered casino owner, and a father of three.