Cece: Mom, what are you doing here?
Jess: If you've come to object to this wedding, you are too late, and in another sense, because it's delayed, you're... too early.
Priyanka: That's not at all why I'm here.
Schmidt: [on Priyanka's voice mail] Mama P. Schmidt with the latest, "Why I Love Cece." Today's episode: Honesty with a Capital Ouch.
Cece: He called you?
Priyanka: Every Monday for the past year.
Schmidt: [beeps] Your daughter is the best thing... [beeps] I just lost a fight in the desert, but... [beeps] And I want her to be the last thing I see when she pulls the plug. [beeps] But it's not an A-plus unless we both finish. [beeps] She's so beautiful. The odds are really stacked against our children.
Jess: They're not all winners.
Schmidt: [beeps] I just know that if you miss your daughter's wedding, you're going to regret it for the rest of your life.
Priyanka: I am delighted for you to marry this man.