Nick: Robot robot.
Schmidt: I said let's stay away from robots though, and you just said ro...
Nick: Okay. Black turkey!
Schmidt: Look, let's maybe pick it up later.
Nick: Computers for babies.
Schmidt: We are back!
Nick: Hair that looks like a helmet. Or vice versa-- helmet that looks like a hair is actually pretty smart. Oh, I'm really hot right now. A water bottle with the top cut off.
Schmidt: [o.s.] That's a cup!
Nick: That is just a cup. Scratch it.

Coach: Ladies. [gasps]
Ruth: Ooh... you got bee'd up, dude.
Deb: Yeah. You look like a monster.
Ruth: Yeah.
Deb: I'm not even joking. You look so ugly right now.
Ruth: So ugly.
Coach: Look, I'm not some little sensitive British guy, okay? I am Coach. But right now, I am in so much pain that I am losing my mind. And I might never recover. So say hello to the new me, who's basically a street lunatic with a face made of fire!
Deb: They sting you in your pants?
Coach: Yeah, they... they stung my doodad.
Ruth: I'm gonna get you some lotion.
Coach: Ow.
Both: Ooh!

Jess: Everyone, um, before we begin this meeting, I just want to say that... yes, Ryan is my boyfriend. And yes, I let it affect my job because I care what you think of me, and I always have. But here's what you should know: I love my job, and I love this man right here. I've been waiting for a moment to tell you that, and I guess... this is it.
Ryan: This is perfect. And, um, just for the record, I love you, too. This speech is wonderful, so please keep going.
Jess: Oh, yeah. Um, and you can come to me with any problems or anything you want to ask me, but I'm gonna make some decisions that you don't like, and you're just gonna have to deal with it. So, uh, let's get back to work, okay? [exits]
Deb: So is that the end of the meeting, then?
Jess: Yep. Uh... yeah, I got a little carried away with the moment there.