Winston: We got to do something.
Coach: Winston, for the first time in my life, I'm not 100% broke, and you want me to give my money away? No, sir. She said she didn't want charity. I ain't giving it to her. [off WIinston's look] Oh, crap. Am I stuck doing another thing with you again? It's a classic Winston and Coach mess-around!
Coach: All right. But don't say that.
Winston: What if I put your name first?
Coach: Let me hear it.
Winston: It's a classic Coach and Winston mess-around.
Coach: Regardless, I don't like it.

Cece: I need bigger tips. They're raising my college tuition, and if I don't come up with the money by Friday, I got to drop out. So I don't know what I'm gonna do.
Winston: Wow, Cece, look. I mean, we're your friends. If you want, I can give you money.
Coach: [muttering] You can give her money. I ain't giving her a damn thing...
Winston: I think what Coach is trying to say is that he will also give you money.

Winston: Hey, man. How's it going?
Coach: I'm not hooking up tonight. I met one girl. Several times. She's pretty much perfect.
Winston: Nice. Where's she at?
Coach: I ditched her, dude. She's, like, relationship material. That's not what I'm looking for tonight.
Winston: Really?
Coach: Yeah, I want something easy.
Winston: Something easy?
Coach: Like Sunday morning.
Winston: Like Sunday morning.
Coach: Know what I'm saying?

Coach: It's great having you here, Mr. Goes-In-You.
Ryan: Geauxinue.
Coach: Yeah. Goes-In-You, Goes-In-You.
Dr. Foster: No...
Coach: Goes in all of us.
Ryan: Yeah.
Dr. Foster: Sooner or later.

Jess: You know what I think? I think that when people go on dates with us, probably talk to their friends and their friends say, "You go on dates with a lot of weirdos." Oh, my God. We're the weirdo ass clowns.
Coach: Aw, no. Everyone in their 30s waits in line for the shower.
Nick: I'm sorry, but the truth is, as long as you live with me, you're not gonna meet a normal guy.