Schmidt: Oh. Thank God. Hey, how are you? I dropped something in the bin, and I need it back.
Wally: You Jewish?
[A stunned Schmidt does a series of double-takes]
Schmidt: I just need a bo... I just need a box.

Jess: There he is. Mr. New York. Mr. Broadway. Happy last day. I made you this.
Coach: Aw. It's a bunch of pictures of you.
Jess: Well, I had to take the necessary precautions, because the last time you left, you forgot who I was. You called me Jebecca.
Coach: Well, thank you so much, Jess. I really like it.
Jess: Cool.
Coach: Yeah. [puts the photo cube into a box marked "Stuff I'm Not Taking"]
Jess: Well, that's a kick in the shins.
Coach: Look, nothing personal, but, you know, I've moved a lot, so I have this system that I use. Duffel bag full of essentials only. And... one Jess cube.
Jess: You can't get rid of me.

Coach: The system works. Remember, essentials only. It's not just for packing; it's a way of life. You want to move forward, you got to get rid of the past. That means throw out all your junk... Emotional junk, actual junk. Got to make a clean break.
Schmidt: Clean break. That's right. You're blowing my mind right now, Coach.
Winston: Doesn't even mean anything.
Coach: Or does it mean everything?

Jess: I cannot believe you're all buying into Coach's crazy system. You guys have fun with your clean break. I'm gonna go to my room, and I guess I'll have to cancel the horse and carriage that I hired to take you to the airport.
Coach: May and I are driving.
Jess: You are now.

Coach: You guys sure you're up for this?
Schmidt: I am ready for this. I'm single again. I'm a new man. I'm leaving the past behind.
Nick: I want to get rid of my stuff, but all my stuff is really, really good, and I just can't get rid of it.
Coach: It's not, and you have to.
Schmidt: Everything you own is trash.
Coach: You're basically a hoarder.
Nick: Not true. Everything has meaning. Everything is connected to something else.

Coach: You need to be hard on yourself, okay? Now, take this box and fill it up.
Nick: Okay... Think I can do it?
Coach: Absolutely.
Nick: Okay. I'm gonna get hard and fix myself.
Coach: What?
Nick: That's not... No. That's... I didn't... No.

Winston: You got to take the Rege, at least for the memories.
Coach: The Rege, man.
Winston: The Rege!
Coach: You know, I can't get rid of the Rege.
Winston: Can't get rid of the...
Coach: Psych! I'm getting rid of the Rege. Memories are nonessential, all right? That's what makes the system work.

Nick: I found an ant farm full of candy wrappers. Is this essential?
Coach: Like, really, what do you think?
Nick: Hmm?
Coach: I need you to get harder, Nick. Can you get harder for me?
Nick: What?
Coach: Do you need me to get hard with you?
Nick: I feel like you're not... meaning to say what you're saying.
Coach: Talking about cleaning up.

Jess: When one of us left the mug on the entryway table... "Ass" out meant it was time to... Make love...
Nick: Bone. Yeah, make love.
Schmidt: We're getting rid of this thing... especially since you guys aren't using it anymore, right?
Jess & Nick: Right.
Winston: Wrong. I, Winston L'Andre Bishop, saw that very mug on this very hallway table just last week... "Ass" very out. Ooh...!
Jess: Winston, that mug hasn't seen any action in over a year. You're off your rocker.
Winston: If I were off my rocker, would I take a weekly selfie with my cat?
Nick: Oh, Winston.
Winston: You see, just last week, I took this selfie with... Wait, not that one. That's crazy. Not that one. I forgot I had this one. This selfie, in front of that table. Sex mug. Question is, who put the mug out?

Nick: All right, let's not play the "who put the mug out" game.
Jess: We should be focusing on Coach.
Coach: I saw you checking out Jess's butt last week.
Nick: No.
Winston: Yes, she was wearing the "look at me" skirt.
Schmidt: All right, well, let's not try to... My money's on Jess.
Jess: Wait.
Schmidt: She hasn't had sex since Ryan, and desperate times call for Nick Miller.