Jess: Is there anything I could do to help?
Nick: The eulogy.
Jess: Sorry?
Nick: Oh, that would be really helpful 'cause that's been getting in my way a little bit.
Jess: I didn't really know your dad except... the one hour that I committed fraud with him.
Nick: That's all there is to know, really.

Winston: Looking good, man. This was Walt's best suit.
Schmidt: Look at all these buttons, Winston. I look like a remote control.
Winston: It looks good.
Schmidt: I can't mourn in this. I don't even know how to use these buttons.

Schmidt: Hey, hey, quit it, man. Don't do that.
Bobby: Hey, beat it, Cali.
Schmidt: Long Island, son.

Bonnie: I'm gonna hit her.
Nick: Mom, please. Dad would've liked this. He would've faked a slip and fall and sued the funeral home. [laughter] But he would've liked this. Thank you, Jess.
Jess: [as Elvis] You're welcome, Mama.
Nick: Oh... [sighs] I used to always tell my dad that I hated Elvis just to piss him off. And he would get really mad the way Walt could get really mad. And, uh, he would turn it up loud just to spite me and sing all the Elvis songs. He was very good at gambling. [chuckles] He had a great mustache.
Winston: [sobs]
Schmidt: Hey, man.
Winston: What?
Nick: And he was so mean to cabbies in such a cool way. And he never was scared. [sniffles] How did he do that? [sighs] I don't know if Walt was... a good guy or a bad guy in the whole scheme of things, you know. But he was my dad, and I'm sure gonna miss him.

Winston: [high-pitched] Nick's just mad 'cause that punk-ass balloon beat his ass.
Jess: Hey, no huffing. Come on, guys.
Schmidt: [high-pitched] Take these seriously, Winston.
Jess: I didn't buy the balloons to have you guys... [high-pitched] If you do that one more time, I'm gonna break your faces in. [high-pitched laughter]

Nick: Uh, my dad died. Yeah, I guess he had a heart attack. I got to go back to, uh, Chicago and, uh, go to the funeral and everything. [sighs] Well, are you guys gonna say anything or...
Jess: [high-pitched That's terrible, Nick.
Schmidt: [high-pitched] Wow, we're so sorry. If there's anything we can do, please.
Jess: Come here.
Schmidt: Not Walt. Just... Nick.
Jess: Give me a hug. We love you.
Schmidt: Love you, Nick. Stay strong.

Jess: So this is where Nick Miller grew up.
Nick: Well, except for the fall of '88 to spring of '89. That was our van year.
Jess: I just want you to know I am here for you.
Nick: Okay.
Winston: I'm gonna be strong for you, man. You know, I really did love Walt.
Nick: He was my dad, Winston.
Winston: Yeah, but, I mean, he loved me more than he loved you. He told me that.
Nick: Yeah, he told me that, too, actually.
Winston: Sorry.

Schmidt: This is getting very personal. May... Maybe none of us should go to the funeral. The early buzz on this thing is that it's gonna be a real drag.

Nick: So what still needs to get done?
Bonnie: We need to, uh, get the groceries, uh, plan the funeral, call the paper...
Nick: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Did you say "plan the funeral"?
Bonnie: That's why you're here, Nicky. You take care of everything.
Jamie: I got the napkins!
Woman: Oh, that's so hot.
Nick: Great, Jamie.

Jess: Is Nick taking care of people?
Winston: Yeah, with Pop-Pop coming and going, Nick had to step up and be the man of the family. Pretty much takes care of all of them.
Schmidt: Don't laugh when they call him responsible. They don't know why that's hilarious.