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Big News

‘Big News’

Season 3, Episode 21 -  Aired April 15, 2014

Jess and Nick decide not to let their break-up ruin Winston's celebrations after he gets into the police academy.

Quote from Coach

Jess: Hey!
Coach: Come here, you. [they hug]
Jess: Why are we doing this?
Coach: Uh this is, uh, how I, how I greet everyone now. And then I, uh, do this. Then do that. Oh. And top it off with a little bit of that. You feel me?
Cece: This is how you greet everybody now?
Coach: Ah, come here, you.
Cece: Uh, that wasn't an invitation.

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Quote from Nick

Jess: I think the only way we're gonna get through this is if we're really honest with each other about how we're really feeling. This morning I told you I was okay, and... Why are you winking at me?
Nick: Am I winking?
Jess: Yeah.
Nick: I think I'm just a little nervous. I'm gonna put my sunglasses on so we can keep talking.
Jess: Okay, okay.
Nick: 'Cause I don't think I can stop this.

Quote from Nick

Nick: Tonight's about Winston. You don't have to worry about me 'cause I'm worried about the Honey Roast.
Jess: I'm sorry I forgot that Winston is the most important thing that's going on today.
Nick: That's where I'm putting all my energies.
Jess: Fan...tastic.
Nick: Took a long time to say that word.

Quote from Coach

Schmidt: What is wrong with you? What are you scared of a couple practice tests?
Cece: Just something more important came up, that's all.
Schmidt: There should be nothing more important to you, Cece, than your future. Because nothing is more important to me than your future. Do you know how stupid it makes me feel to care more about your future than you do?
Cece: Nick and Jess broke up.
Coach: [laughs] I knew you knew! I knew it!
Cece: So, you knew, too.
Coach: But you knew and you told.

Quote from Winston

Nick: My name is Nick Miller and I'm your host of tonight's Honey Roast.
Winston: Thank you! Thank you!
Jess: And I'm Furguson the cat.
Winston: Ya-ya!

Quote from Nick

Nick: What are you talking about? Are you nuts? I'm falling apart. Yeah, I I'm on Schmidt's anti-anxiety medicine.
Jess: What?! [laughs]
Nick: Yeah, I stole it from his drawer.
Schmidt: Schmidty's little helpers.
Cece: Ooh.
Coach: Sorry about that.
Nick: I'm very much not okay! I was only acting okay 'cause I thought you were okay.
Jess: I'm not okay.
Nick: I am not okay.
Jess: I'm terrible!
Nick: I know I'm smiling right now, but I feel terrible.
Jess: I'm so happy that you feel terrible.

Quote from Jess

Nick: I also can't stop smiling because of the drugs, so my face feels crazy. It feels like I had plastic surgery.
Winston: Can somebody please tell me what the hell is going on in here?
Nick: You want to do this?
Jess: I think we should.
Both: We broke up!
Jess: We're done.
Nick: It's over.
Jess: It's all done.
Coach: Are you serious?!
Cece: What?! What?! No!
Nick: Come on, guys, it's so obvious.
Coach: Son of a bee sting.

Quote from Winston

Winston: What, you broke up today?
Jess: Yesterday.
Nick: Yesterday.
Winston: Well, why didn't you tell me?
Jess: Because we didn't want to ruin your day. And I'm so sorry we did. We're so proud of you that you got into the police academy, but we're just, we're in a really bad zone.
Nick: Yeah, a too bad zone.
Jess: So let's just come out and admit it. We're in a terrible zone.
Winston: Are you kidding me? Something this big happens and you guys still look out for me? I mean, that's... Thank you. I really appreciate it, you guys, but I'm here for whatever you need.

Quote from Jess

Jess: Should we all try to live inside a peach, or is that weird?

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