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Big News

‘Big News’

Season 3, Episode 21 -  Aired April 15, 2014

Jess and Nick decide not to let their break-up ruin Winston's celebrations after he gets into the police academy.

Quote from Schmidt

Schmidt: [knocks] Jess, are you pregnant? I feel like I made it weird with the pregnancy thing, you guys. Did I make it weird with the pregnancy thing? 'Cause I really feel like I did. I feel like, in my heart, that that was a that was the wrong to say, especially to two women who are sitting alone in a room together. You know, I don't know where you guys are at with your lives But you're certainly getting up to an age where babies are on your mind, and-and I didn't want to throw that into the mix. I could see that you were emotional, Jess, when you left, and I, and I don't want to make you more emotional by bringing up pregnancy. And, Cece, you can probably barely spell "pregnancy." And I feel terrible. Are you frickin' razzing me in there? Did I just here a razz? Damn it! [knocks]

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Quote from Jess

Nick: So I saw this TV show about monkeys in India, and one of the monkeys, when it gets nervous and it wants to play submissive, it goes like this: [wobbles mouth] And that lets all the other monkeys know it doesn't want trouble.
Jess: That's cool.
Nick: They also give each other oral pleasure. And they masturbate. So what do we do now, Jess?
Jess: Well, normally, I would go home, but I already am home, so... can't do that.
Nick: I know where you live.
Jess: And I live where you live.

Quote from Winston

Jess: That really is big news! Big news. What a happy, happy day! Huzzah!
Winston: And to celebrate, I'm gonna have a banquet in my honor.
Schmidt: A banquet for yourself? That seems tacky.
Winston: Can anyone here think of any reason why today should not be all about me?

Quote from Jess

Nick: So we broke up. What's the difference? Um I-I couldn't be more okay with it.
Jess: Well, I couldn't be more okay, either.
Nick: Great. Me, too.
Jess: Capital "O," capital "K" capital "A," capital "Y." I'm okay.

Quote from Nick

Nick: [to Tran] I'm not okay. I'm sorry to pull you out of your dance class. Oh, the recital was today?

Quote from Nick

Nick: What else you want?
Winston: I'm thinking maybe you should MC my roast.
Nick: Okay, I will.
Winston: And can you do it dressed as Furguson?
Nick: I'm not gonna do that.
Winston: Thought it might be special.
Nick: Nah, it's strange. All right, I'm gonna get started on that chair.

Quote from Nick

Coach: So you're really building Winston's throne, huh?
Nick: It's a prominent chair. And it's not right! It's not regal enough! [tosses it aside]
Coach: How long have you been doing this?
Nick: It's for the Honey Roast. I'm trying to think of cute things to say about Winston. I got great stuff about his feet.
Coach: What are you saying, dude? You sound insane. If anything's cute about Winston, it's his yawn.

Quote from Nick

Coach: You're scaring me, man. Like, for real. Like, I'm scared for you.
Nick: Don't do that voice 'cause it makes me confess things.
Coach: I'm really scared for you.
Nick: I broke up with Jess.

Quote from Jess

Jess: He just seemed so fine with it. Like he's happier than me watching Coach watching Winston yawn.

Quote from Schmidt

Schmidt: [o.s.] Are you guys Frenching? Okay, say you're Frenching and I'll stop knocking.

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