Walt Miller: All right, all right, all right. Yeah, look, look, He's got no wire. He's not... he's not a policeman, he's...
Nick: Guys, I'm not wearing a wire. I'm not a cop. I just sweat like this when I'm lying.
Buyer 1: Lying? Lying?
Nick: No.
Walt Miller: Nobody is lying.

Nick: [gibbering]
Buyer 2: What is he doing?
Nick: The... the gum! The gum had sugar in it. [gibbering]
Buyer 1: These guys are weird. Weird.
Buyer 2: Strange!
Buyer 1: You're weird.

Jess: Now you have to talk to each other! You've been conned. God, I'm good.
Nick: That's not a con, Jess! You're just driving away.

Walt Miller: I was ready to get your friend's money back for her, okay? But you insisted on coming here.
Nick: You know what? You know what's funny about you? Somehow, you have made this... seem like my fault. This isn't my fault! I didn't invite you here!
Jess: [struggling to turn the van around] Keep talking. This is good for you guys.

Walt Miller: Are you angry at me about something, Little penis?
Nick: I have been mad at you for 30 years, Dad.
Walt Miller: 30 years?
Nick: I am not a successful adult. I don't eat vegetables and/or take care of myself. And it's because of you.
Walt Miller: Well, okay, maybe I'll take a little bit of that hit.
Nick: Look, it's not "taking a hit." It's just saying sorry.
Walt Miller: I think you look cold. I'm gonna give you my pants.
Nick: I don't want your pants.
Walt Miller: Come on, take the pants!
Nick: Dad, please don't do that.
Walt Miller: You say I do nothing for you. Let me give you my pants.
Nick: I don't want your pants! Don't do this. Please don't do this.
Walt Miller: Take my pants.
Nick: This is making it worse!

Walt Miller: Okay. All right, maybe, uh... maybe I did make some mistakes along the line, okay?
Nick: We all make mistakes, Dad.
Walt Miller: Hey, what do you say, tomorrow, we go to a game? Any game, you pick it out.
Nick: I'm in.
Jess: [struggling to turn] You're welcome! Son of a... This thing doesn't turn so well.

Jess: Hey, Walt. What are you doing? I thought you were gonna go to a game with Nick today.
Walt Miller: Going to get a bagel. In Chicago.
Jess: No! No, I can't... No. Um, I can't let you go. This means too much to Nick. You can't just say you're gonna do things and then not do them.
Walt Miller: What was that?
Jess: What was what?
Walt Miller: That.
[Jess leaves the door to investigate, giving Walt a chance to sneak out]
Jess: What? What? Damn, you're good.
Walt Miller: Listen, Blue Eyes, do me a favor, will ya? Will you tell him for me that I, uh... You know, that I... Just keep an eye on him for me, will ya? [Jess nods]