New Girl Quotes
- Episodes
- Season 1
- Season 2
- Season 3
- Season 4
- 401 The Last Wedding
- 402 Dice
- 403 Julie Berkman's Older Sister
- 404 Micro
- 405 Landline
- 406 Background Check
- 407 Goldmine
- 408 Teachers
- 409 Thanksgiving IV
- 410 Girl Fight
- 411 LAXMas
- 412 Shark
- 413 Coming Out
- 414 Swuit
- 415 The Crawl
- 416 Oregon
- 417 Spiderhunt
- 418 Walk of Shame
- 419 The Right Thing
- 420 Par 5
- 421 Panty Gate
- 422 Clean Break
- Season 5
- Season 6
- Season 7
New Girl
A quirky teacher, Jess, moves in to a loft with three guys after breaking up with her long-term boyfriend.
Starring:
Zooey Deschanel, Jake Johnson, Max Greenfield, Damon Wayans, Jr., Hannah Simone, Lamorne Morris.
Recurring Actors:
Megan Fox, Nasim Pedrad, Nelson Franklin, Rob Reiner, Jamie Lee Curtis, Justin Long.
Original Run: 2011-2018.
Quote of the Day
Quote from Coach in Thanksgiving IV
Coach: Plus, he's British, so you know the sex will be weirdly polite. [in British accent] Do you mind if I finish now?
Jess: He doesn't sound like Oliver Twist.
Coach: [British accent] Do you like that? Is that good, eh? All right. Here we go.
Jess: One-- really? Two-- what?
Coach: [indistinct British mumbling] Hey, you like it when I do it like that, eh?
Schmidt: That was spot-on.
Popular Quotes
Winston: All right, everybody stop! Wherever you are right now, just sit down! Okay, now, Saturday is a day for sleeping, and damn it, you will not take that away from me! You, give her her scarf back. Finders keepers is not a thing. You, get out of my house!
Holly: Who are you?
Winston: Who am I? Who am I? Well, I am Theodore K. Mullins. And Nick is my lover on the down low. Tell her, Nick. Tell her how it really goes down in apartment 4D. Oh, great Negro spiritual, please come down and loose these chains on this woman! Flesh on flesh. When the lights are off, we are all the same.
Nick: Not true.
Winston: Dear lord, help me, Father! Get out of my house. Get out of my house!
Quote from Schmidt in Godparents
Schmidt: Oh, no. Ruth hasn't been signed out. Um, excuse me. Um, have you seen Ruth? Brown hair, smile that would shake the earth, hates peas?
Girl: A white man broke in today.
Schmidt: A... a white man?! No! Well, what did security do about it?!
Girl: Nothing.
Schmidt: Typical!
Quote from Nick in Young Adult
Nick: I'm using magnetic words to break through my writer's block, and it's not working. I've already folded all my shirts and masturbated six times, and I'm running out of things to do. I'm just in a real bind. You see, The Pepperwood Chronicles sold over 30 copies, Jess.
Jess: So, what, we're complaining about good things now?
Nick: It's just, my audience is gonna be clamoring for a sequel, and I can't leave those stevedores, those-those tugboat workers, those lighthouse keepers empty-handed.
Jess: You think that your audience is entirely made of, like...
Nick: Blue-collar nautical workers on the coastline of Maine. I don't think that, Jess, I know that.
Quote Collections
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“Winston Bishop's Pranks and Mess Arounds”
A collection of Winston Bishop's greatest pranks, mess arounds and aliases.
22 quotes
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Enjoy holiday quotes from Christmas episodes of New Girl.
23 quotes
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Julius Pepperwood was Nick's ex-cop alter ego who later became the lead character in his book series, "The Pepperwood Chronicles".
14 quotes
Trending Quotes
Quote from Nick in Rumspringa
Nick: Don't yell at us 'cause you guys are freaking out about your new jobs. I am not freaking out.
Jess: I have been preparing for this job ever since I was young enough to believe [chuckles] leprechauns were real.
Nick: Leprechauns are real.
Winston: Yeah, I caught one.
Nick: He caught one.
Schmidt: We're not having the freaking leprechaun debate right now; we'll be here for hours.
Nick: Leprechauns are real.
Quote from Nick in Landing Gear
Nick: As we all know, marriage is about sex and property. Everybody say that with me once. Marriage is about s... [all silent] I imagined that differently.
Schmidt: [on video call] You're okay. You're okay. Pull it together. Just let the index cards go. Speak from the heart.
Nick: You know who I'm talking to when I say you were rude to me earlier at the bar. And now who's in control? I could point to you and call you out, but I won't. When I first met this guy, Schmidt, I thought, "I'm not gonna be friends with him. I don't like his personality." Magic's fake. [guests murmuring] Believe what you want, but I want you guys to think about something, and now this is off the jack. In a couple generations, we're all gonna be dead, and no one's gonna remember any of us. I mean, think about it. Do you remember your great-great grandparents or... or their parents, or what they did day to day? The point is, it doesn't matter. Everyone you know will be dead.
Schmidt: That's right.
Nick: Congratulations, man. I love you.
Schmidt: Best friends.
Nick: That's my time, everybody. Thank you.
Schmidt: Look, if it made sense, it wouldn't be my wedding.
Quote from Schmidt in The Story of the 50
Schmidt: So, it's my birthday.
Jess: Right now?
Schmidt: Right now.
Jess: Happy birthday.
Schmidt: Happy birthday, Schmidt. I'm 29, folks. What's up? 29! 29! [laughs] Can you please not tell anybody I just did that? That feels embarrassing. Actually, you know what? I don't care what people think. Do you think I care too much about what people think, Jess?
Jess: Maybe a little bit.
Schmidt: Maybe.