Adrian Monk Quote #2654

Quote from Adrian Monk in Mr. Monk Goes Camping

Brian Willis: What are we gonna do? He doesn't like the fish. He's gonna kill us! Do something.
Adrian Monk: [calmly] It's OK. It's OK. I'm very calm. We're very calm. Look how calm we are.
Brian Willis: He likes it. It's working. Keep talking, keep talking.
Adrian Monk: What do I say?
Brian Willis: I don't know. Tell him a story.
Adrian Monk: What? What story?
Brian Willis: It doesn't matter! He's a bear!
Adrian Monk: Okay. You're probably wondering what we're doing here. Here's what happened. See, an armored car was robbed, and the guard was killed, and the police recovered some shell casings from the crime scene. And if they could match them to the casings found in that clearing, they'd have an airtight case. [bear growls] Exactly. And those two men they weren't hunters, they were killers. They must've been target practicing up here, and someone must've spotted them. Maybe a park ranger. That's why they came back. 'cause they knew that those shell casings could tie them to the crime scene. [bear goes away]
Brian Willis: I guess it got bored. Nice work.
Adrian Monk: It's what I do.


Features in the collection: Here's What Happened.

‘Here's What Happened’

Quote from Lieutenant Disher in Mr. Monk and the Actor

Lieutenant Disher: How you doin'? We were looking at this case all wrong. It wasn't a burglary. It was all about the wall. The whole time. Here's what happened. The killer was in here last Thursday night. This is where he met Michelle Cullman. They have an artist in here a few nights a week sketching the customers. He drew their picture right there on the wall. After the murder, the killer remembered the sketch. That sketch could hang him. It could prove that he was with the victim the night she died. And it would prove what he was wearing. The same shirt we found at the murder scene. He had to destroy that sketch. So he smashed through the wall and pretended it was part of a burglary. He just pretended to be breaking into a pawn shop. It was never about the pawnshop.
Female Cop: I know.
Lieutenant Disher: You know?
Female Cop: I was here ten minutes ago when Monk was explaining it to you.

Quote from Adrian Monk in Mr. Monk Gets Hypnotized

Lieutenant Disher: All right, well she told some paramedic that she loosened one of those baseboards. She pretended to be asleep. When he came back to check on her. Bam. Side of the head. [Monk laughs]
Captain Stottlemeyer: Monk, do you have something you'd like to share with the rest of us?
Adrian Monk: I can see his butt.
Natalie: Mr. Monk, the man is dead.
Adrian Monk: Yeah, of embarrassment! Sorry. I've got it. Here's what happened. Tuesday night, Larkin abducted his wife from that parking lot. He overpowered her. Maybe he drugged her. Then, he brought her up here. He kept her prisoner. For three days, he taunted her. He humiliated her. Something about some jewelry. He- He even refused to feed her. But last night he went a little too far. In all the excitement, his pants fell down. He killed himself. He didn't have a choice. She'd seen his hiney. [laughs]
Captain Stottlemeyer: I think we're done here.

 ‘Mr. Monk Goes Camping’ Quotes

Quote from Adrian Monk

Adrian Monk: Brian caught the fish. Possession is nine tenths of the law. That's the rule. In fact, when you're in the woods, it's ten tenths.
Nicky Phillips: Ten tenths? That doesn't sound right.
Adrian Monk: Yeah, rules don't have to sound right. That's another rule.

Quote from Lieutenant Disher

Adrian Monk: Wait a minute. P-300? Isn't that a fatality?
Lieutenant Disher: It was pretty ugly. The driver hit a tractor trailer head-on. He and his wife were both DOA.
Adrian Monk: And this was the car that had the bumper sticker? "Happiness is a choice."
Lieutenant Disher: Yeah, that's right. Well, actually it was on fire when I got there, so it was hard to read.
Adrian Monk: And this didn't deter you or make you think twice?
Lieutenant Disher: I mean, it was an epiphany, Monk. I mean, you can't just choose where you get it. I mean, it could be from a guru on a mountaintop or it could be from a bumper sticker on a burning Subaru.

 Adrian Monk Quotes

Quote from Mr. Monk and the Daredevil

Natalie: Where are you going?
Adrian Monk: Bathroom.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Why? [Monk is silent] I'll go with you.
Adrian Monk: I don't think so.
Captain Stottlemeyer: No, let me go with you.
Natalie: We promised Dr. Kroger we wouldn't leave you alone.
Adrian Monk: I am not suicidal. I just wish I was never born. There's a difference.

Quote from Mr. Monk Is At Your Service

Natalie: Are you afraid of frogs?
Adrian Monk: I don't know. I've never been this close to one. [A frog lands on Monk's shoe] Yes. The answer is yes. Put frogs on the list. Where's the list?
Natalie: I got it. I got it. Where does it go?
Adrian Monk: Put them between possums and, uh, soccer riots. No, no, no. Uh, after after soccer riots. And before, uh, before hailstones. Yeah, so it goes...
Natalie: I got it, I got it: Soccer riots, frogs, hailstones.
Adrian Monk: At least now we know. Information really is power.