Adrian Monk Quote #2278
Quote from Adrian Monk in Mr. Monk Makes the Playoffs
Brett: What happened to you?
Captain Stottlemeyer: What?
Brett: You move up here, suddenly you're a Condor fan?
Captain Stottlemeyer: I haven't lived in Los Angeles for 30 years, and as far as I'm concerned, L.A. still doesn't have a football team.
Brett: Ooh. You ugly, dumb son of a bitch!
Adrian Monk: Hey, this man is a friend of mine. You wanna make fun of him, you have to make fun of me first.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Monk, they're just fooling. It's okay. They're just... It's just guy talk.
Adrian Monk: [chuckles] Yeah, I know. I know. That's what I was doing. I was that's what I was doing. What is up with those yellow teeth? Don't you know how to brush? And you, hey, the moon called It wants all its craters back. From your skin. 'cause you got bad skin.
Captain Stottlemeyer: So, hey, what's going on? You guys married?
Cory: Oh, yeah, man. Read 'em and weep. The party's over. What about you, man?
Adrian Monk: Well, he was married, and he got divorced. And then his last girlfriend got arrested for murder. Right, you ugly, dumb, sad, lonely Stupid, sad son of a... Right?
Monk Quotes
‘Mr. Monk Makes the Playoffs’ Quotes
Quote from Captain Stottlemeyer
Adrian Monk: I think we should talk to that guy again, that Chet Walsh with the funny foamy finger. Remember? He had this big, foamy finger.
Captain Stottlemeyer: I know who you mean, Monk.
Adrian Monk: He said he saw Gitelson this morning!
Captain Stottlemeyer: Look, Monk, it's out of our jurisdiction. It's not our case. We'll just be in the way, okay? Come on, every good cop knows you can't be in it 24/7. Even God took a day off. And what day did he take off? It was Sunday. Why did he take off Sunday? I tell you why Sunday, so he could watch football!
Quote from Captain Stottlemeyer
Bob Costas: Where's Adrian?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Oh, he's outside. He's workin' the case. He can't give it up.
Bob Costas: Oh, that's just like him. The monomaniacal Mr. Monk. Did he ever tell you how we met?
Captain Stottlemeyer: No, not really. He mentioned something about a demented cat salesman.
Bob Costas: Well, no, that's not it exactly. There's a distinction here, and it's really. It's fascinating. The cat salesman was not demented. He sold demented cats. No, no, but really, understand. He had a Siamese who was manic-depressive. He had a paranoid Persian. The guy tried to sell me a calico kitten who was completely psychotic. Evil! I mean, it tried to kill me. The kitten tried to kill me.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Okay, nice game though, huh?
Bob Costas: It's a great game. He had a Burmese. Multiple personalities. One of which was a dog. That's how weird it was.
Captain Stottlemeyer: I'm not really a cat person.
Bob Costas: Well, it's... These are the facts. I'm just tellin' ya.
Quote from Captain Stottlemeyer
Captain Stottlemeyer: I told you it was just a fan.
Adrian Monk: I just wanna make sure. I wish we had some lab equipment. We could dust for prints.
Captain Stottlemeyer: You know what I wish? I wish there was two of me so one of me could be out here wasting my life with you, the other one could be in there watching the football game with Bob Costas.