Captain Stottlemeyer Quote #374
Quote from Captain Stottlemeyer in Mr. Monk on Wheels
Captain Stottlemeyer: Now, the bike rack is about a 1/2 mile away. So what, the guy steals the bike, he rides a couple of blocks, and then throws it away?
Lieutenant Disher: Yes, sir.
Ronnie O'Dell: Apparently.
Captain Stottlemeyer: He didn't want the bike. After all of this. What the hell's going on?
Ronnie O'Dell: We don't know, sir. Frankly, the lieutenant and I... We're stymied.
Lieutenant Disher: We found the basket.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Okay, Randy, get it over with. Tell me now. Is the basket made of gold?
Lieutenant Disher: No, it's a basic basket. We've been through this whole truck, only thing we can't find Is the bell, the cable, and the lock.
Ronnie O'Dell: Wait a second. What do you got? Eh? [rings bell]
Captain Stottlemeyer: Good, you found the bell. [bell ringing continues] Thank you. You can stop ringing the bell now.
‘Mr. Monk on Wheels’ Quotes
Quote from Lieutenant Disher
Captain Stottlemeyer: Ah, tough guy, eh? Look at this. See that? That's a bullet. That's a bullet that got dug out of our very dear friend's leg tonight.
Lieutenant Disher: That makes your cousin a former cop shooter.
Vince Kuramoto: Former what?
Lieutenant Disher: Former cop shooter.
Vince Kuramoto: You mean he used to shoot cops?
Lieutenant Disher: No, he shot someone who used to be a cop.
Vince Kuramoto: Why didn't you say that?
Lieutenant Disher: I did. It's the same thing.
Vince Kuramoto: It's not the same thing.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Oh, for god's sake, what are you two married, or what?
Quote from Adrian Monk
Adrian Monk: Natalie, look at this thing. We've got nature on the run. Finally. Look at that. Look! It's the perfect sandwich! Perfect! There's no overlap. There's no waste. Four 90 degree angles. This will virtually eliminate indigestion.
Natalie: Are you going to help me, or not?
Adrian Monk: You can taste the symmetry!
Natalie: Please!
Adrian Monk: Natalie, I can't run around looking for a stolen bicycle. I still have some pride left. Not much. But my dignity tank isn't completely empty.
Quote from Adrian Monk
Natalie: Mr. Monk, don't talk like that. You're going to be just fine.
Dr. Levinson: Somebody's up. Hello, good evening. I'm Dr. Levinson. And you are a very lucky man.
Adrian Monk: Is she talking to me?
Dr. Levinson: A few inches over, the bullet would have severed your femoral artery. I'd say that's lucky.
Adrian Monk: You know who I think is lucky? Everybody else in this room. The unshot people. The great unshot. The lead-free. Bulletless.
Natalie: When can I take him home?
Dr. Levinson: Maybe tomorrow if he's up to it. Are you a fighter, Mr. Monk?
Adrian Monk: [whines] No.