Captain Stottlemeyer Quote #359
Quote from Captain Stottlemeyer in Mr. Monk and the Miracle
Captain Stottlemeyer: [pops pain pills] So, Mrs. Parisi, let me get this straight. You filed a complaint 2 1/2 weeks ago, you said somebody vandalized your house.
Mrs. Parisi: That's right.
Captain Stottlemeyer: You said you thought some teenagers painted this thing on your front door.
Mrs. Parisi: This is not a thing. It's a fountain.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Okay. So some teenagers painted this fountain on your front door and now you want to withdraw the complaint.
Mrs. Parisi: That's right. It wasn't teenagers. I know that now. It was God. It was a sign from God.
Captain Stottlemeyer: God drew a little picture on your front door?
Mrs. Parisi: It was a miracle. Last summer, I couldn't breathe, my lungs were burning.
Mr. Parisi: She couldn't breathe. We went to three different doctors.
Mrs. Parisi: And then I heard on the news about the fountain at the Franklin Park Monastery.
Mr. Parisi: It looked just like this. It was this fountain. And when she drank from it...
Mrs. Parisi: I was cured.
Mr. Parisi: She's eating again. She can sleep. It's a miracle.
Mrs. Parisi: It's a miracle.
Captain Stottlemeyer: It's a miracle.
Mrs. Parisi: It's a miracle. Write that down. "It's a miracle."
Captain Stottlemeyer: Yep.
‘Mr. Monk and the Miracle’ Quotes
Quote from Adrian Monk
Adrian Monk: Captain. Captain. Captain, you can't go to Spain without knowing the truth.
Man: Ssh.
Adrian Monk: It wasn't a miracle. The water, the fountain, it was all a hoax.
Natalie: I'm sorry, captain.
Adrian Monk: It was the pharmacist, Owen McCloskey.
Natalie: He killed Willie T.
Captain Stottlemeyer: [chants with monks]
Adrian Monk: [deep, in tune with chant] Here's what happened. McCloskey killed his partner and buried him here. Nine years later, planning to renovate, body would be discovered.
Natalie: [ditto] He couldn't dig up the body. They had built a fountain there.
Adrian Monk: He had to stop them from digging. He started changing their prescriptions to make his patients sicker.
Natalie: That's why you never got better.
Adrian Monk: He did it to everyone. He painted that sign on your door. Willie the bum must have seen him. That's why McCloskey killed him.
All: Amen.
Quote from Adrian Monk
Natalie: Sorry I'm late.
Adrian Monk: What's that?
Natalie: I forgot the gravy for Monday night, the big dinner.
Adrian Monk: You wasted a trip. They make their own gravy.
Natalie: Who makes their own gravy?
Adrian Monk: Bums.
Natalie: "Bums make their own gravy." What does that even mean?
Adrian Monk: You don't wanna know.
Quote from Adrian Monk
Natalie: Mr. Monk, look at all these people. They really believe in it.
Adrian Monk: Well, they're people. They'll believe anything.
Natalie: Mr. Monk, you should try it. You should drink from the fountain.
Adrian Monk: You can't be serious.
Natalie: You're in so much pain all the time, you know? What if there's something to it? You know? I mean, anything's possible.
Adrian Monk: That's not exactly true. A lot of things are what we call impossible. It's the opposite of possible. I get it. I'll give you an example. Um, this.