Lieutenant Disher Quote #278
Quote from Lieutenant Disher in Mr. Monk Gets Lotto Fever
Malcolm O'Dwyer: These are some numbers I'mthinking of playing.
Captain Stottlemeyer: No, Malcolm, don't worry. Nobody's gonna steal your numbers.
Malcolm O'Dwyer: You'd be a fool not to. These six numbers aren't just chosen at random.They're my own algorithm based on probability, emerging number patterns the theories of Sir Isaac Newton.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Isaac Newton. Really? There's just six numbers. You only buy one ticket a week?
Malcolm O'Dwyer: That's all I need. How many do you buy?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Well, it depends. Twenty. [O'Dwyer laughs] Ah, you're just shotgunning it, huh? Rookie move.
Lieutenant Disher: Well, how much have you won?
Malcolm O'Dwyer: How much ever or how much this year?
Lieutenant Disher: Let's say ever.
Malcolm O'Dwyer: Zero. It's not just about winning or losing.
Captain Stottlemeyer: It's the lottery! It's all about winning. What else is there?
Malcolm O'Dwyer: The journey, Captain! It's how you get there. I'd rather lose my way then win a $20 million jackpot your way.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Okay. I think we're through here.
Lieutenant Disher: You think you're pretty clever, don't you, Mr. Lottery expert? Well, I've got news for you. We've got your number.
‘Mr. Monk Gets Lotto Fever’ Quotes
Quote from Lieutenant Disher
Captain Stottlemeyer: What's that? "It looks like her number came up."
Lieutenant Disher: It's a zinger. She's a lotto girl. Her number came up. Get it? You remember last year Sergeant Beecham shoved that junkie into a lamp post, and he said, "I'll keep you posted."
Captain Stottlemeyer: Oh, yeah. I heard about that.
Lieutenant Disher: Everybody heard about it. I mean, people were repeating it. It was famous. This is even better. This is a classic.
Captain Stottlemeyer: If you say so.
Lieutenant Disher: Yeah, I just need to find the right moment.
Quote from Adrian Monk
Adrian Monk: Or maybe I just feel insulted.
Dr. Bell: Insulted?
Adrian Monk: What I do is hard. I am out there. I am sweating out every clue. I'm putting killers behind bars. What does she do? What does she do?! [picks up calendar] 91. Number 91! 91. Number 91. I mean, how hard is that? A talking monkey could do her job. It's embarrassing.
Dr. Bell: Actually, that's 16. See, you're holding it upside down.
Adrian Monk: Oh, it's confusing. There's usually a little line under the nine.
Dr. Bell: It goes under the six. The line goes under the six.
Adrian Monk: I'm pretty sure it's the nine.
Dr. Bell: It's no big deal. I've seen it my whole life.
Adrian Monk: I've never seen it under the six.
Dr. Bell: Why don't we ask Natalie then? She's the expert.
Adrian Monk: Okay, okay.
Dr. Bell: But I see your point. About the monkey.
Quote from Adrian Monk
Adrian Monk: I know, but here's the thing. Tomorrow is Wednesday. Oh, we already made plans.
Natalie: What plans? Me making dinner while you vacuum the rug?
Adrian Monk: Exactly. And here's the other thing. If I let you take a night off, I have to let everybody take a night off.
Natalie: Who's everybody? What are you talking about? It's just me.
Natalie: Mr. Monk, come on. It's one night.
Adrian Monk: Well, then I'll guess I'll just have to say no... Kay. No kay. No kay.
Stan Lawrence: Which is it? "No" or "okay?"
Adrian Monk: Nokay. Nokay.
Natalie: He's trying to say okay. That's as close as he's ever gonna get.
Stan Lawrence: Nokay?
Adrian Monk: Nokay.