Lieutenant Disher Quote #215
Quote from Lieutenant Disher in Mr. Monk and the Bad Girlfriend
Lieutenant Disher: No, it's Linda. We know her.
Adrian Monk: Do we?
Lieutenant Disher: Yeah. Besides, it it's impossible. I mean, she was talking to the Captain that night on the webcam from her house. I mean, Monk, you were there.
Adrian Monk: I know, but let's just-
Lieutenant Disher: Oh, okay, what? It was about at 7:00? Right? And she was definitely here in Richmond at 7:00. The guy was killed when?
Adrian Monk: 7:20. There were two witnesses.
Lieutenant Disher: Okay, he was killed at 7:20 here in Novato... Hmm. It's, like, 30 miles.
Adrian Monk: 32.2.
Lieutenant Disher: Okay, 32.2 miles in 20 minutes? There's no way. That's 100 miles an hour through traffic. It's just not possible.
Natalie: Maybe she had a jetpack. Like in those James Bond movies.
Lieutenant Disher: Yeah, well, there's no such thing as a working jet pack. Don't ask me how I know.
‘Mr. Monk and the Bad Girlfriend’ Quotes
Quote from Captain Stottlemeyer
Adrian Monk: [over intercom] Ms. Hubbert, I'm sure you wouldn't want us to inform the school board about your little drinking problem.
Helen Hubbert: What? I mean, how-
Adrian Monk: How? How? We're the FBI, that's how!
Captain Stottlemeyer: Oh, for God's sakes, he can see the flask in your pocket.
Adrian Monk: And Ms. Hubbert, I'm sure you wouldn't want the IRS to know about your second job. You have been moonlighting as a waitress, haven't you? Have you been reporting all of your tips?
Captain Stottlemeyer: He's looking inside your purse. He can see your wad of singles. Hey! Hey, Agent FBI Man, huh? [drags shoe across the mirror] Here, what do you think of that?
Adrian Monk: Leland, you can put this woman away for the rest of her life. Linda Fusco will still be guilty.
Quote from Adrian Monk
Adrian Monk: Yeah, we have some news, some good news.
Natalie: Yeah. We have good news. We think we know who killed Sean Corcoran.
Captain Stottlemeyer: That's great. That was fast.
Adrian Monk: Yeah. This individual has a motive.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Good. Motive is good.
Adrian Monk: Owns a shotgun, and had access to the house.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Well, let's pick him up. What's his name? [Monk looks at Natalie] Monk, the suspect has a name, right? And what is that name?
Adrian Monk: ... Linda. Linda Fusco.
Captain Stottlemeyer: [laughs] That's hilarious. You got me. That's good. Ha! That's rich. See you guys manana.
Natalie: Captain? He's not joking. He never jokes.
Captain Stottlemeyer: That's true.
Adrian Monk: She's the guy.
Quote from Adrian Monk
Adrian Monk: [over intercom] Excuse me. Could you fix the blinds, please?
Captain Stottlemeyer: I don't feel like it.
Adrian Monk: I wasn't talking to you. Ma'am? I'm gonna need you to fix the blinds at this time.
Helen Hubbert: Who is that?
Adrian Monk: I'm with the FBI. In Washington.
Natalie: Stop it.
Adrian Monk: D.C. Watching you on my computer. Screen.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Don't listen to him, ma'am. He is not-
Adrian Monk: Ma'am, I'm gonna need you to fix the blind. And while you're at it, pick up the Styrofoam pieces scattered about the room.
Captain Stottlemeyer: He is not a federal agent.
Adrian Monk: Yes, he- I am.
Captain Stottlemeyer: No, he's not. He's an ex-cop who hates himself and hates his life and isn't happy unless everybody else is as miserable as he is!