Adrian Monk Quote #1635
Quote from Adrian Monk in Mr. Monk Goes to the Hospital
Dr. Scott: You said you wanted to be admitted. Your prayers have been answered, Mr. Monk. No, you can't speak or move. Don't even try. You're literally wasting your breath. I've injected 3ccs of tribusonol into your larynx. Do you have any idea what I do here every day? How many lives these hands have saved? How many lives they will save? Hundreds, thousands. That's my mission. It's why I'm here. I am the miracle man. Do you think I would let you, former-Detective Monk, or Dr. Graydon Whitcomb, or anyone stop me? Oh, by the way, I have some good news for you. I stopped that pesky nosebleed. You're welcome. I have some other news, not quite so good. You had an accident. At least, that's what your chart says. You were in a stairwell, you tripped. You suffered a concussion. Possible nerve damage, multiple fractures. Ah, it gets worse. I don't know how this happened. The name on this chart is Dale Butterworth. In four minutes, the day nurse - who is new to this floor - is going to walk in, read this chart, and administer a massive dose if intravenous tetracycline. [Monk tries to groan] Yes, I know about your allergy. Unfortunately, mistakes like this happen all the time.
‘Mr. Monk Goes to the Hospital’ Quotes
Quote from Lieutenant Disher
Nurse: It's not possible. Mr. Johansen never left his room. He's been on the heart monitor all night. Here's a cardiogram. No gaps, no interruptions.
Lieutenant Disher: Actually, all we know for sure is that he never took the monitor off. What if he took it with him?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Randy, please.
Lieutenant Disher: No, it's possible. I mean, all he had to do was strap the monitor to his back. And then climb out the window, shimmy down one story, unspooling 600 feet of wire along the way.
Nurse: He's 82 years old.
Lieutenant Disher: He's a veteran. They were the Greatest Generation.
Captain Stottlemeyer: You through?
Quote from Lieutenant Disher
Adrian Monk: And, Randy, you hit it. Remember?
Lieutenant Disher: Yeah.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Well, let's see it. [Disher starts to unbutton his pants] What are you doing?
Lieutenant Disher: Showing you the bruise.
Adrian Monk: What's he doing?
Captain Stottlemeyer: It's near your ankle. Just pull up your pant leg.
Lieutenant Disher: Well, six of one, right?
Captain Stottlemeyer: It's not six of one. Roll up your pant leg.
Lieutenant Disher: I'm already unbuckled. Okay, fine.
Quote from Lieutenant Disher
Lieutenant Disher: Captain, look at this.
Captain Stottlemeyer: What is that?
Hospital Administrator: That looks like a seal. That could be from one of our oxygen tanks.
Captain Stottlemeyer: "Room 623."
Lieutenant Disher: Room 623. All right, let's go!
Hospital Administrator: Uh, Lieutenant, that's the geriatric ward. If he's a patient up there, he's at least 80 years old.
Lieutenant Disher: Well, then, we better move fast.