Adrian Monk Quote #1128
Quote from Adrian Monk in Mr. Monk and the Big Reward
Captain Stottlemeyer: Shut up! Everybody, shut up! Everybody but Monk. Monk, what's going on?
Adrian Monk: Okay. Here's what happened. The woman who founded the meditation center was named Jennie Mandeville.
Lieutenant Disher: What, the confessor?
Adrian Monk: No, no, no, no. The girl you met was not the real Jennie Mandeville. She got the name from a plaque she saw up at the retreat. She needed a fake name, maybe she liked the sound of it.
Captain Stottlemeyer: What was she doing up there?
Adrian Monk: She went there to kill Danny Chasen. The guy in the roll-top desk. It was probably her boyfriend's idea. Jewel thieves are like children. They hate to share. This is a very crowded room. This is a very, very, very, very, very, very...
Captain Stottlemeyer: Monk, Monk, Monk, it's okay. It's okay. Who was her boyfriend?
Adrian Monk: He was the security guard that Randy arrested. He was the jewel thief! He was the inside man. The diamond was still in his pocket when you were talking to him.
Lieutenant Disher: That's right, we brought him here right from the museum.
Adrian Monk: I remember before the interrogation he was chewing a big piece of gum. But when I saw him after the interrogation, the gum was gone. He must have panicked in that room. You had him on the drug charges, he knew he was about to be arrested. Which, of course, meant he'd be searched. So he hid the rock right there under the table.
Captain Stottlemeyer: With his chewing gum.
Adrian Monk: People do it in restaurants all the time. I've written letters to my congressman and to the editor, what can I do? He must have telephoned his girlfriend from jail to tell her where he stashed the diamond.
Captain Stottlemeyer: And that's why she was coming in here confessing to everything.
Lieutenant Disher: And why she was always asking to switch rooms, 'cause she was trying to get in there.
Monk Quotes
‘Mr. Monk and the Big Reward’ Quotes
Quote from Dr. Kroger
Adrian Monk: When I was on the force, I used to hate cashing my paycheck. I still do. To me, police work is like a higher calling. Like the priesthood.
Dr. Kroger: You know, Adrian, even priests have to get paid. But it brings up an interesting question. Something I would like to explore with you. What would you do if you had a million dollars?
Adrian Monk: Well, uh, I guess I'd hire you full time. And keep you on retainer. 24/7. Maybe I'd buy you a house right next to mine. So I could just drop in anytime. This is fun. What would you do with a million dollars?
Dr. Kroger: Buy an island. A desert island in the middle of nowhere.
Adrian Monk: So we would do our sessions over the phone?
Dr. Kroger: [chuckles] Well, see, this island, in my mind... No phone service.
Adrian Monk: Well, I guess I'd have to buy a boat.
Dr. Kroger: No, see, that's funny, because, the island, in my fantasy... No dock.
Quote from Captain Stottlemeyer
Captain Stottlemeyer: I've got some good news. Sort of consolation prize. I talked to the commissioner. He's gonna put you under contract.
Natalie: Really?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Put you on retainer. He has guaranteed you 16 homicides a year for next two years.
Adrian Monk: Sixteen a year? What- What about after that?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Well, we'll have to take it one year at a time. We'll see.
Quote from Adrian Monk
Cashier: That's $42.80.
Adrian Monk: Okay, there we go. And I have a coupon.
Cashier: I can't take this, it expired yesterday.
Adrian Monk: Yesterday? Oh, she's right. Darn. Sometimes I wish I had a time machine.
Natalie: Wait, if you had a time machine, you would use it to go back to save 50 cents on Lysol?
Adrian Monk: Yes. Yes, I would.
Natalie: You wouldn't use it to save Abraham Lincoln?
Adrian Monk: Fine, I'll save Lincoln. It never ends with you.