Adrian Monk Quote #811

Quote from Adrian Monk in Mr. Monk Gets Stuck in Traffic

Garrett Price: Miss Teeger. My name is Garrett Price. I'm a personal injury attorney.
Natalie: What a surprise.
Garrett Price: [chuckles] Oh, sarcasm is a very good sign with trauma. And I must say that any friend of Adrian Monk's is a client of mine. The man is a magnificent detective and one of my greatest personal heroes.
Adrian Monk: We just met.
Garrett Price: Modesty becomes the brave, Mr. Monk. You're my hero. End of discussion. Let's take a look at that wrist. Oh, that doesn't look too bad. [quietly to Monk] That is a very serious injury. I could tell from here. How about a couple of pictures? Always helps in front of a jury. You see, my thinking on this is that someone owes you a great deal of money. Can you lick your lips for this one?
Natalie: Cute.
Garrett Price: I'm kidding. Isn't that sweet? She doesn't know when I'm teasing. The money, by the way, has nothing to do with medical expenses. That's going to be considerable. The main body, where you really kill them, is with mental anguish.
Natalie: You know, Mr. Price, I wasn't aware of any mental anguish until I met you.
Garrett Price: That's why I'm here, darling. That's the point of the whole exercise. [to Monk] She's a nice girl, but doesn't understand. [to Natalie] That's a five-star bruise, don't you understand that? This is gonna change your life, and yours as well. In fact, I wish we had one of those paramedics here to document it.
Adrian Monk: You mean, to treat it?
Garrett Price: That's my point. You document it, then you treat it. What, are we savages? I'll be right back.

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 ‘Mr. Monk Gets Stuck in Traffic’ Quotes

Quote from Julie Teeger

Julie Teeger: I'm going to pee all over the seat.
Adrian Monk: Natalie.
Natalie: Honey, honey, there is a rest stop up ahead. You're okay.
Julie Teeger: Maybe when there's pee all over the back seat, maybe then you'll believe me.
Adrian Monk: Uh, okay. Julie, wait. No, don't don't don't do that. Not, not in the car. I will give you $10 to hold it in.
Julie Teeger: Really?
Natalie: What are you doing? You can't pay a person not to pee.
Adrian Monk: Best money I ever spent.
Julie Teeger: Oh, sure he can. It's called "the free market." I learned about it in school. So, Mr. Monk, how much would you pay me not to throw up?

Quote from Natalie

Natalie: So, what happened up there?
Adrian Monk: A guy was killed.
Natalie: Oh, my God.
Julie Teeger: Mr. Monk says he was murdered.
Natalie: Of course he does. You know, Mr. Monk, there'd be no crime in all of San Francisco if you never left your house.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Julie Teeger: Mom, I gotta go.
Natalie: Sweetie, why didn't you go at the game? There was a porta-john right there.
Julie Teeger: I wanted to, but Mr. Monk says it wasn't sanitary.
Adrian Monk: You'll thank me later.