Adrian Monk Quote #339
Quote from Adrian Monk in Mr. Monk Goes to the Theater
Jenna Ryan: I'm in a play at the El Portal, if you're interested. It's called Blood on the Moon.
Adrian Monk: Oh, I heard about that. Didn't a guy get killed during the show?
Jenna Ryan: It's not exactly the kind of publicity we wanted. Actually, I'm the understudy for the girl who, you know, did it.
Adrian Monk: Really?
Jenna Ryan: My daddy always said, "When opportunity knocks, just kick down the damn door Don't ask any questions."
Adrian Monk: Is-Is your father an actor too?
Jenna Ryan: He wanted to be. Raised by a frustrated actor. That explains everything, right? But he's great. He's really great. My father would do anything for me.
Adrian Monk: Were you there when-when Mr. Duncan was stabbed?
Jenna Ryan: No. I, um I had checked in earlier. I was at a party across town. How did you know his name?
Adrian Monk: It's on the news.
Jenna Ryan: Uh-huh.
Adrian Monk: So you didn't actually see the attack?
Jenna Ryan: No, I was at a party across town. I told you. You ask a lot of questions. You never told me what you do for a living. [bell rings]
Adrian Monk: Oh, that was quick. Can I see you again?
Jenna Ryan: I don't think so.
‘Mr. Monk Goes to the Theater’ Quotes
Quote from Sharona
Sharona: Look, I might have told her some things that weren't exactly true.
Adrian Monk: Like what?
Sharona: Like, Benjy's on the honor roll.
Adrian Monk: Oh, okay. No problem.
Sharona: Okay, thanks. Oh! Oh, oh, oh. And... And I also told her that my rent is only $900 a month. And-And-And- And I broke up with Steve, the florist I was dating. He didn't break up with me. Oh, oh. Oh, oh. And also that I am seeing a really nice guy, Ronnie, who's a stockbroker, but he's out of town this weekend. Oh, oh! Oh, oh. And- And you you have a full medical plan, including dental. And, uh, I'm not your assistant. I'm your partner. Is that okay?
Adrian Monk: Yeah. Wow! Congratulations.
Sharona: Thank you.
Quote from Adrian Monk
Adrian Monk: Excuse me. Could I have my four dollars back?
Doorman: What?
Adrian Monk: We gave you 44 dollars.
Doorman: Yeah?
Adrian Monk: The bribe was only 40, so, you know...
Doorman: Are you for real?
Sharona: Will you come on?
Adrian Monk: O- Okay. Okay, but we have a four-dollar credit on any future bribes. I won't forget. I'm writing it down.
Quote from Adrian Monk
Adrian Monk: Did you happen to hear where she went?
Doorman: It's possible.
Sharona: Well- Well, where did she go? It's very important.
Doorman: Isn't it funny? I-I can't quite remember.
Adrian Monk: I get it. I get it. I get it. [gets wallet out] Memories are funny things. Uh, maybe this will help.
Doorman: Three dollars? Hey, buddy, I get three bucks for holding a door open.
Sharona: He wants more. Give him more.
Adrian Monk: He didn't do anything. I think three dollars is more than appropriate.
Sharona: Give him more.
Doorman: Oh, so we're up to four dollars now.
Adrian Monk: For 20 seconds of your time. I think that's not too shabby.
Sharona: You're the cheapest man I know. Here. Where'd she go?
Adrian Monk: What are you doing? Forty dollars?
Sharona: My sister's on death row. I think she's worth 40 dollars. Where'd she go?