Lieutenant Disher Quote #311
Lieutenant Disher: It looks like it's an inside job. Security tapes are missing, and the store gets re-supplied the first Tuesday of every month.
Captain Stottlemeyer: And that was yesterday, so he was plugged in somehow. We're putting together some names, going back ten years, everybody that's ever worked here.
Adrian Monk: You don't have to go back ten years. The manager only worked here for a year. The killer wore a ski mask, ergo, the killer was afraid he'd be recognized, ergo, the killer must have worked here recently.
Lieutenant Disher: "Ergo" the killer? What's that, Hungarian?
Captain Stottlemeyer: His name isn't "Ergo," Randy.
Quote from Lieutenant Disher
Natalie: All right, so they broke in, they killed a security guard, and stole an egg-eating robot.
Lieutenant Disher: Yeah, could the machine possibly be involved?
Captain Stottlemeyer: What'd you say?
Lieutenant Disher: Well, in science fiction, they sometimes come alive. They become sentient. If this were a movie, you'd believe me.
Captain Stottlemeyer: If this were a movie, I could walk out, Randy.
Quote from Adrian Monk
Dr. Bell: You're a lucky man. [off Monk's silence] Adrian? Talk to me. Come on.
Adrian Monk: What's the catch?
Dr. Bell: With what?
Adrian Monk: With Marge. What do you suppose she's after?
Dr. Bell: All right, Adrian-
Adrian Monk: Every time somebody wants to be my friend, it turns out they're after something. They have an angle.
Dr. Bell: No, not necessarily.
Adrian Monk: How could somebody- How could anybody love me unconditionally? I mean, come on. You've met me.
Dr. Bell: Adrian, I know you've been burned in the past, but you have to trust people. See, there's not always a catch.
Adrian Monk: Then how do you explain this? There's always a catch.
Quote from Mr. Monk and the Class Reunion
Lieutenant Disher: Captain? I tracked down Kalimarakis. I don't think he's our guy. Number one, it turns out he was allowed to join the Olympic swim team as an alternate. He, uh, got a waiver.
Captain Stottlemeyer: So there's no motive.
Lieutenant Disher: Right. Number two, he's dead. He died in 1995. And number three, he moved to Europe in the late '80s. So there's no record of him ever returning-
Captain Stottlemeyer: Randy. Randy, excuse me. I'm sorry to interrupt you but could you read number two again?
Lieutenant Disher: Okeydoke. He's dead.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Right. See, I probably would have stopped reading after number two. In fact, I would have read number two first.
Lieutenant Disher: You would have switched 'em?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Yeah. But that's just me. And probably every other adult on the planet Earth.