Adrian Monk Quote #2223

Quote from Adrian Monk in Mr. Monk on Wheels

Adrian Monk: What is all this?
Sarah Longson: It's a research lab. Agricultural engineering. Dean, Dean Berry founded BetaVegaTech five years ago.
Adrian Monk: So what exactly do you do?
Sarah Longson: We're saving the world.
Adrian Monk: Oh, good for you. I was getting a little worried about the world. Is that a square tomato?!
Sarah Longson: Yes, it is. It's a pet project of Dean's. The square shape means that farmers can pack 35% more tomatoes per carton. It's cheaper. More efficient.
Adrian Monk: So... So that means every slice is exactly the same size?
Natalie: How does it taste?
Adrian Monk: Who cares? It's a square tomato! You're doing the Lord's work.

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 ‘Mr. Monk on Wheels’ Quotes

Quote from Lieutenant Disher

Captain Stottlemeyer: Ah, tough guy, eh? Look at this. See that? That's a bullet. That's a bullet that got dug out of our very dear friend's leg tonight.
Lieutenant Disher: That makes your cousin a former cop shooter.
Vince Kuramoto: Former what?
Lieutenant Disher: Former cop shooter.
Vince Kuramoto: You mean he used to shoot cops?
Lieutenant Disher: No, he shot someone who used to be a cop.
Vince Kuramoto: Why didn't you say that?
Lieutenant Disher: I did. It's the same thing.
Vince Kuramoto: It's not the same thing.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Oh, for god's sake, what are you two married, or what?

Quote from Adrian Monk

Adrian Monk: Natalie, look at this thing. We've got nature on the run. Finally. Look at that. Look! It's the perfect sandwich! Perfect! There's no overlap. There's no waste. Four 90 degree angles. This will virtually eliminate indigestion.
Natalie: Are you going to help me, or not?
Adrian Monk: You can taste the symmetry!
Natalie: Please!
Adrian Monk: Natalie, I can't run around looking for a stolen bicycle. I still have some pride left. Not much. But my dignity tank isn't completely empty.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Natalie: Mr. Monk, don't talk like that. You're going to be just fine.
Dr. Levinson: Somebody's up. Hello, good evening. I'm Dr. Levinson. And you are a very lucky man.
Adrian Monk: Is she talking to me?
Dr. Levinson: A few inches over, the bullet would have severed your femoral artery. I'd say that's lucky.
Adrian Monk: You know who I think is lucky? Everybody else in this room. The unshot people. The great unshot. The lead-free. Bulletless.
Natalie: When can I take him home?
Dr. Levinson: Maybe tomorrow if he's up to it. Are you a fighter, Mr. Monk?
Adrian Monk: [whines] No.