Captain Stottlemeyer Quote #212
Captain Stottlemeyer: I don't want any more advice. I wanna know where Karen is going this afternoon.
Adrian Monk: What if she sees us? She's gonna know that you asked us to follow her. Wouldn't that be worse?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Worse than not knowing? Isn't it killing you not knowing what happened to Trudy? How many times have I asked you for a favor?
Adrian Monk: 103. Counting this, 104.
Captain Stottlemeyer: How many times have I said please?
Quote from Adrian Monk
Adrian Monk: Look. $10.03. That's how much is in there.
Natalie: Okay, thank you. Now we know.
Adrian Monk: Yeah, I think we should make it even.
Natalie: What are you talking about?
Adrian Monk: The fountain. We take out three cents and that'll be 10 dollars. It's a nice round number. 10 dollars. Then everyone would be happier.
Natalie: You always say that. Who is everyone?
Adrian Monk: Me. Me.
Natalie: You want me to reach in here and take out 3 pennies?
Adrian Monk: Would you mind?
Natalie: Yes, I would.
Natalie: Look, look, she's moving again. We gotta go. Mr. Monk, if we walk now, we won't even think about the fountain.
Adrian Monk: I'll think about it. It would haunt me.
Natalie: The three extra pennies. It would haunt you?
Adrian Monk: It will haunt me.
Quote from Mr. Monk and the Election
Captain Stottlemeyer: Disher told me that you put the grenade in the refrigerator.
Adrian Monk: Yeah.
Captain Stottlemeyer: And then he said you went back and opened it again. You just had to straighten something out, didn't you? I'm gonna ask the Mayor to give you a medal for what you did. And then I'm gonna ask the Mayor to take that medal back. Because you just had to open that door, didn't you?
Adrian Monk: So it's a wash?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Yeah, it's a wash.
Quote from Mr. Monk Goes to Mexico
Captain Stottlemeyer: In a way, given what he had to deal with, he was the bravest man I've ever known. I measured everything I did against him. He was my yardstick. I never told him that.
Lieutenant Disher: I'm sure he knew, sir.
Captain Stottlemeyer: [chuckles] I'm sure he did. The son of a bitch knew everything. I want a full-dress funeral. I want the governor there. I want the entire department there with black armbands and white gloves.
Lieutenant Disher: Sir, Monk wasn't on active duty. We can't go full dress.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Adrian Monk is to be buried with honors or I quit. I'm gonna tell you something, Randy, and I'm not ashamed to admit this. I loved that man. [answers phone] This is Stottlemeyer. Yes. I understand. [to Randy] I hate that man. [hangs up] I hate that man!