Adrian Monk Quote #1081

Quote from Adrian Monk in Mr. Monk Bumps His Head

Adrian Monk: Pregnancy test.
Cora: Looks like she had a bun in the oven.
Adrian Monk: How do you know?
Cora: Those two little lines there, that means positive. See, you pee on that end.
Adrian Monk: [groans] Wipe. Wipe, wipe. Wipe. Give me. I need a wipe.
Cora: All right. Relax.

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 ‘Mr. Monk Bumps His Head’ Quotes

Quote from Captain Stottlemeyer

Captain Stottlemeyer: He got beaned pretty hard on the head. We're putting up 4,000 of these. I'm gonna have them put up. We're gonna post them in post offices, truck stops, and drug stores.
Dr. Kroger: Wait, why the drug stores?
Captain Stottlemeyer: I figure he's gonna have to buy wipes sooner or later.

Quote from Lieutenant Disher

Natalie: Captain. Mr. Monk gets all his money from the bank. They're brand new bills. Maybe they keep track of serial numbers.
Captain Stottlemeyer: That's good. We'll check it out.
Lieutenant Disher: Maybe this guy really did have a clue about Trudy's murder and Monk solved the case. I mean, he found the guy who killed Trudy and killed him. And then he moved to some place else, changed his name and started a new life.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Without telling us?
Lieutenant Disher: Happens all the time.
Captain Stottlemeyer: It does?
Lieutenant Disher: It happens occasionally. It's not unprecedented. I never said it.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Good.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Sheriff Bates: It's the biggest feed store in the county. Roger's father in law owns it. He lets Roger run it.
Adrian Monk: I don't wanna tell you, but those bags smell like...
Sheriff Bates: Well, that's exactly what they are. That's fertilizer.
Adrian Monk: Oh, my God. My God, this is worse than drug trafficking. You gotta nail this guy.