Captain Stottlemeyer: You're retiring? How old are you?
Gordo: 46.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Did you win the lottery?
Gordo: No, I've been investing. Real estate. What have you been doing with your savings?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Uh, eating. You know, I need to talk to my accountant.
Natalie: What, you have an accountant?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Nope. Gonna have to get an accountant, then I'm gonna talk to him.

Shirt Salesman: Okay, here you go. Inspected by number 8. Is there really a difference?
Adrian Monk: Are you kidding? Look at this. Look, she's an artist. Oh, I've been admiring her work for years. You know, every shirt, every stitch, every button is perfect. There's a tear. There's a tear.
Natalie: Where, where, where?
Adrian Monk: There's a tear, right there. Ah, look at this, the sleeve is all wrong. It's completely crooked.
Natalie: Well, maybe she had a bad day.
Adrian Monk: No, that's not possible. I know inspector number 8. She never lets anything get past her.
Natalie: Mr. Monk, are you okay?
Adrian Monk: Something's wrong.
Natalie: What?
Adrian Monk: Something is very wrong with inspector number 8. Dennis? Dennis?

Natalie: Yes, we're looking for another shirt just like this.
Shirt Salesman: You want the same shirt?
Adrian Monk: Identical, yeah. Same collar, same pattern, 16-inch neck, 33-inch sleeve.
Shirt Salesman: Okay, but you already have one of those, so, maybe it's time to try a little variety, because... [Natalie clears her throat] Or maybe not. Okay. Yeah, there you go. 16-inch collar, 33-inch sleeve.
Adrian Monk: No, this one's inspected by number 6. I'm not a big fan of number 6. Do you have any that are inspected by number 8?
Shirt Salesman: You're kidding, right? [off Monk's look] You're not kidding. Okay. The customer's always right. At least until today.