Lieutenant Disher Quote #67
Captain Stottlemeyer: Get a list of tenants. Start knockin' on doors. Lieutenant, I thought you had the perimeter.
Lieutenant Disher: Fist of the Cobra. 1975. I've got that same poster in my room. Oh, look at this. That's from Ten Fingers of Doom. He broke his arm doing that stunt. He still finished the scene, though. Oh, my God!
Captain Stottlemeyer: What?
Lieutenant Disher: He's got a bootleg copy of Enter the Cobra. Can I have this?
Captain Stottlemeyer: No, you can't have it, Detective. This is a crime scene.
Lieutenant Disher: Let's watch it. [off Stottlemeyer's look] Fine, I'll put it back.
Quote from Adrian Monk
Trudy: We both know what's happening here, Adrian. You're having what Dr. Kroger would call a psychotic break. It's a defense mechanism. How long do you have?
Adrian Monk: Uh, there's about 50 cubic feet of air in the coffin. 35 minutes, maybe 40. Let's talk about something else.
Trudy: How did you know it was the gravedigger?
Adrian Monk: I noticed the stamp on the back of his hand. At the time, I didn't think anything about it. But then later, I saw the exact same stamp on Natalie's hand.
Trudy: So you knew Chris Downey had been to the museum.
Adrian Monk: That's right. He stole Sonny Chow's hairbrush. Because he needed Chow's DNA, so he could frame him for murder.
Trudy: But why Sonny Chow?
Adrian Monk: So the police would exhume his body. It all started six years ago. I remember the case. Downey had stolen half a million in jewels from a courier. During the getaway, he assaulted an off-duty cop. He was convicted on the assault, but they couldn't get him on the robbery.
Trudy: They never found the diamonds.
Adrian Monk: Exactly. He was working here at the cemetery. Before he went home, he must've stopped here and hid the jewels.
Adrian Monk: In Sonny Chow's coffin. It was perfect. Chow was scheduled to be buried the next day. Downey figured he could always come back and dig it up. Even five or six years later.
Trudy: You felt 'em in the pillowcase. You felt 'em when Natalie hit you in the back.
Adrian Monk: That's right.
Quote from Lieutenant Disher
Lieutenant Disher: He's alive. Sonny Chow is alive. He pulled an Elvis, faked his own death.
Adrian Monk: He pulled an Elvis?
Lieutenant Disher: Yes. Check this out. Six years ago, a man named Joseph Lee disappeared from a homeless shelter in the Presidio one day before Sonny Chow "died." They were the same height and same weight.
Adrian Monk: It could be a coincidence.
Lieutenant Disher: Well, we're about to find out. We just got a court order to exhume the body. They're diggin' it up now.
Natalie: Lieutenant, you understand if Sonny Chow is alive, he's murdered at least two people.
Lieutenant Disher: Uh-huh.
Natalie: You'd have to arrest him.
Lieutenant Disher: I'd get to meet him.
Natalie: He might try to kill you.
Lieutenant Disher: You think so? Wow, that would be so cool. Sonny Chow.
Quote from Lieutenant Disher
Lieutenant Disher: Sir, I've got a theory on this. This guy John Ricca, he's published a book about Sonny Chow, right?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Right.
Lieutenant Disher: Well, it's a real hatchet job. I mean, it made the Cobra look terrible.
Captain Stottlemeyer: "The Cobra"?
Lieutenant Disher: Sonny Chow. I mean, maybe we should be looking for a Sonny Chow fan. I mean, they all hated the book. And most of them are pretty nuts. I mean, I see them at conventions all the time, and they are real fanatics.
Quote from Mr. Monk and the Class Reunion
Lieutenant Disher: Captain? I tracked down Kalimarakis. I don't think he's our guy. Number one, it turns out he was allowed to join the Olympic swim team as an alternate. He, uh, got a waiver.
Captain Stottlemeyer: So there's no motive.
Lieutenant Disher: Right. Number two, he's dead. He died in 1995. And number three, he moved to Europe in the late '80s. So there's no record of him ever returning-
Captain Stottlemeyer: Randy. Randy, excuse me. I'm sorry to interrupt you but could you read number two again?
Lieutenant Disher: Okeydoke. He's dead.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Right. See, I probably would have stopped reading after number two. In fact, I would have read number two first.
Lieutenant Disher: You would have switched 'em?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Yeah. But that's just me. And probably every other adult on the planet Earth.
Quote from Mr. Monk Is the Best Man
Lieutenant Disher: So who's on your short list?
Captain Stottlemeyer: I've been at this all morning. Most of these guys are either in jail or dead.
Lieutenant Disher: Yeah, or both.
Captain Stottlemeyer: No. Nobody is both.
Quote from Mr. Monk's 100th Case
Adrian Monk: What about her lipstick?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Lipstick? Looks like he took it.
Lieutenant Disher: Lipstick Killer. Lipstick Assassin. Mr. Lipstick. I've always wanted to name one of these guys.
James Novak: Why?
Lieutenant Disher: If you can name them, you can catch them.
James Novak: Why?