Adrian Monk Quote #2662
Quote from Adrian Monk in Mr. Monk Is the Best Man
Adrian Monk: Excuse me. Okay, all right, here we go. - Is everybody having fun?
Sarcastic Cop: You mean "is anybody having fun?"
Adrian Monk: That's good, that's good. All right, I would like to say a few words. About our friend, Leland Francis Stottlemeyer.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Thank you. Thank you very much.
Adrian Monk: And it goes like this. "A man walks into a bar with a duck on his head." [laughter] There's more. There's more. "The bartender says, 'Say, aren't you Leland Stottlemeyer, whose first marriage was annulled after five days, and whose second wife, Karen, left him after 20 years? And then you dated Linda Fusco who was later convicted of first degree murder?'" [Stottlemeyer laughs] Wait, wait, "and then Leland says, 'That's right.', and then the bartender says, 'Every relationship you've ever had has ended in disaster. And you wanna get married again? You're crazy. No wonder you have a duck on your head.' And Leland says..."
Captain Stottlemeyer: And Leland says, "I need a drink."
Monk Quotes
‘Mr. Monk Is the Best Man’ Quotes
Quote from Lieutenant Disher
Lieutenant Disher: So who's on your short list?
Captain Stottlemeyer: I've been at this all morning. Most of these guys are either in jail or dead.
Lieutenant Disher: Yeah, or both.
Captain Stottlemeyer: No. Nobody is both.
Quote from Lieutenant Disher
Lieutenant Disher: [sings and plays guitar] Cupid was a gun for hire Took aim at Leland Stottlemeyer Who's love was wallowed in the mire We love you TK Stottlemeyer! Mr. And Mrs. Stottlemeyer.
Natalie: Sounds a little like Light My Fire.
Lieutenant Disher: What part?
Natalie: The words. And the music. Why don't you just play the wedding march?
Lieutenant Disher: Yeah, I am I am during the service. This is for after. This is for the reception. This is my gift. It's either that or a trash compactor.
Natalie: Can't go wrong with a trash compactor.
Quote from Lieutenant Disher
Captain Stottlemeyer: Okay, we have a victim founded in Colin Park. He was shot once and then burned.
Adrian Monk: I read the file, so where are we?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Still unidentified. Randy, what do we know about him?
Lieutenant Disher: Well, we know he was flammable. That's pretty much it.