Natalie Quote #307
Quote from Natalie in Mr. Monk and the Voodoo Curse
Adrian Monk: Was there anything else in the box? Natalie, when did it arrive? The postmark says Pacific Heights. Do you know anybody in pacific heights?
Natalie: No.
Adrian Monk: They misspelled your name. T-e-a-g-e-r. Who spells your name like that?
Natalie: The devil.
Adrian Monk: Excuse me?
Natalie: The head's been cut off. That's what it means. I'm- I'm gonna be decapitated.
Adrian Monk: No, it doesn't mean anything. I mean, it could've broken off in shipping, right? Oh, no, you're right.
It has been cut with some kind of scalpel.
Natalie: What's gonna happen to Julie?
Adrian Monk: Hey, look at me. Natalie, look at me. All right, this is me talking. Nothing is going to happen. I don't know what's going on here, but it isn't hoodoo, and it isn't voodoo. Someone is just trying to scare you. Voodoo isn't real, okay? It's a fairy tale.
Natalie: You've been asking me all week, how can I believe in this stuff? When Mitch first started his tour, I lived in South Carolina. We had a little apartment off base. There was this woman who lived down the hall, Ms. Ayida. She claimed to be a voodoo priestess. She said that Mitch was in danger. She told me to warn him. I didn't say anything. I didn't warn him. I guess I didn't take it seriously. The next day he was shot down.
Adrian Monk: And you blame yourself?
Natalie: It's not a fairy tale, Mr. Monk.
‘Mr. Monk and the Voodoo Curse’ Quotes
Quote from Lieutenant Disher
Captain Stottlemeyer: So he goes to collect the mail, including this box.
Lieutenant Disher: Yeah, same as the others. Postmarked three days ago, no return address. He opens the box, sees the doll. Bob's your uncle, his heart just stops.
Captain Stottlemeyer: "Bob's your uncle"? That doesn't sound right.
Lieutenant Disher: Well, yeah. Bob was her uncle. Uncle Robert.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Yeah, right, but that doesn't matter.
Lieutenant Disher: It's a figure of speech.
Captain Stottlemeyer: A figure of whose speech? I've never heard...
Lieutenant Disher: His name is Robert.
Captain Stottlemeyer: No, I know. No, no, back up a second. I've never heard "Bob's your uncle" before.
Lieutenant Disher: Have you been to Australia?
Captain Stottlemeyer: No, I've never been to Australia.
Lieutenant Disher: Bob's your uncle, mate. Didgeridoo.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Have you been- Have you been to Australia?
Lieutenant Disher: No.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Did you, like, see a movie, like? Like, "That's a knife, mate."
Quote from Natalie
Adrian Monk: How can I leave? I'm still working on the voodoo thing.
Natalie: Mr. Monk, they won't even miss you. They'll be fine.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Well, I have to call the captain and...
Natalie: No, no. I'll call the captain. I'll do that. You just get your coat. [picks up phone] Captain Stottlemeyer, please. Hi, it's Natalie. I'm taking Mr. Monk out of town for a couple of days. [chuckles] Yeah, I agree. He needs a break. So don't even bother calling. [laughs] Get the coat. I will, I will, as soon as we get back. Okay. All right, bye. He wants us to take a lot of pictures.
Adrian Monk: That phone's unplugged.
Natalie: Pardon me?
Adrian Monk: It's not plugged in. There's the cord.
Natalie: Are you calling me a liar?
Adrian Monk: It's not plugged in.
Natalie: So you're calling me a liar?
Adrian Monk: I don't know what to say. It's not plugged in.
Quote from Natalie
Natalie: You know, it's not funny. I used to laugh about it too.
Lieutenant Disher: About what?
Natalie: Voodoo, black magic.
Adrian Monk: Wait, you can't actually believe in that stuff.
Natalie: Somebody predicted that poor woman would get hit by a baseball three days before it happened. How would you explain it?
Adrian Monk: Well, I mean... Maybe...
Lieutenant Disher: Well, wait, I got it. Well, she walked by here every day, right?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Yep.
Lieutenant Disher: So maybe the killer was waiting back here behind this tree with a baseball gun.
Natalie: A baseball gun? There's no such thing.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Yeah, but there are pitching machines.
Natalie: Okay. So how would your baseball-gun killer.
Lieutenant Disher: Oh, that's a good name for him by the way.
Natalie: How would he know someone would hit a home run at exactly that moment? And what happened to the other baseball?
Captain Stottlemeyer: The other baseball.
Natalie: It's voodoo. It's real, and it kills people.