Lieutenant Disher Quote #330
Quote from Lieutenant Disher in Mr. Monk and the Voodoo Curse
Captain Stottlemeyer: Reverend Jorgensen. My name is Leland Stottlemeyer.
Lieutenant Disher: So is mine. We'd like to ask you a couple of questions about your merchandise.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Uh, we're gonna be a while here. Thank you. Thank you.
Reverend Hadley Jorgensen: I've been talking to you guys all week, and I'm all talked out.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Well, that's unfortunate, because there was another incident yesterday.
Lieutenant Disher: Did you sell this doll?
Reverend Hadley Jorgensen: Probably. Looks like mine.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Well, you're three for three, because all three dolls came from your shop.
Reverend Hadley Jorgensen: Give me a break. I can't be responsible for how my dolls are used.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Did did you take out this advertisement?
Reverend Hadley Jorgensen: What if I did? It's no big deal.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Could be a motive.
Reverend Hadley Jorgensen: A motive?
Lieutenant Disher: Publicity. Seem to be pretty busy here.
Reverend Hadley Jorgensen: You think I killed all those people for publicity? How? How did I do that?
Captain Stottlemeyer: We don't know. We don't know yet.
Reverend Hadley Jorgensen: Are we done here? Uh, yeah, we're done. If, you think of anything else, please, don't hesitate to call me or call Lieutenant...
Lieutenant Disher: Stottlemeyer. Lieutenant Stottlemeyer.
‘Mr. Monk and the Voodoo Curse’ Quotes
Quote from Lieutenant Disher
Captain Stottlemeyer: So he goes to collect the mail, including this box.
Lieutenant Disher: Yeah, same as the others. Postmarked three days ago, no return address. He opens the box, sees the doll. Bob's your uncle, his heart just stops.
Captain Stottlemeyer: "Bob's your uncle"? That doesn't sound right.
Lieutenant Disher: Well, yeah. Bob was her uncle. Uncle Robert.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Yeah, right, but that doesn't matter.
Lieutenant Disher: It's a figure of speech.
Captain Stottlemeyer: A figure of whose speech? I've never heard...
Lieutenant Disher: His name is Robert.
Captain Stottlemeyer: No, I know. No, no, back up a second. I've never heard "Bob's your uncle" before.
Lieutenant Disher: Have you been to Australia?
Captain Stottlemeyer: No, I've never been to Australia.
Lieutenant Disher: Bob's your uncle, mate. Didgeridoo.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Have you been- Have you been to Australia?
Lieutenant Disher: No.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Did you, like, see a movie, like? Like, "That's a knife, mate."
Quote from Natalie
Adrian Monk: How can I leave? I'm still working on the voodoo thing.
Natalie: Mr. Monk, they won't even miss you. They'll be fine.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Well, I have to call the captain and...
Natalie: No, no. I'll call the captain. I'll do that. You just get your coat. [picks up phone] Captain Stottlemeyer, please. Hi, it's Natalie. I'm taking Mr. Monk out of town for a couple of days. [chuckles] Yeah, I agree. He needs a break. So don't even bother calling. [laughs] Get the coat. I will, I will, as soon as we get back. Okay. All right, bye. He wants us to take a lot of pictures.
Adrian Monk: That phone's unplugged.
Natalie: Pardon me?
Adrian Monk: It's not plugged in. There's the cord.
Natalie: Are you calling me a liar?
Adrian Monk: It's not plugged in.
Natalie: So you're calling me a liar?
Adrian Monk: I don't know what to say. It's not plugged in.
Quote from Natalie
Natalie: You know, it's not funny. I used to laugh about it too.
Lieutenant Disher: About what?
Natalie: Voodoo, black magic.
Adrian Monk: Wait, you can't actually believe in that stuff.
Natalie: Somebody predicted that poor woman would get hit by a baseball three days before it happened. How would you explain it?
Adrian Monk: Well, I mean... Maybe...
Lieutenant Disher: Well, wait, I got it. Well, she walked by here every day, right?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Yep.
Lieutenant Disher: So maybe the killer was waiting back here behind this tree with a baseball gun.
Natalie: A baseball gun? There's no such thing.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Yeah, but there are pitching machines.
Natalie: Okay. So how would your baseball-gun killer.
Lieutenant Disher: Oh, that's a good name for him by the way.
Natalie: How would he know someone would hit a home run at exactly that moment? And what happened to the other baseball?
Captain Stottlemeyer: The other baseball.
Natalie: It's voodoo. It's real, and it kills people.