Adrian Monk: This is unbelievable. Of course someone's trying to kill her. Anyone she's ever met has a motive. Anyone who's ever read this has a motive. There's a page missing, page 73.
Natalie: Maybe it fell out.
Adrian Monk: Pages just don't fall out.
Natalie: Mr. Monk, it fell out.
Adrian Monk: It was torn out.
Natalie: It fell out. Stop it, stop it, stop it. No! No, Mr. Monk, you don't want to see page 73.
Adrian Monk: What? It can't be any worse than the rest of it.
Natalie: You wanna bet?
Adrian Monk: I have to know.
Natalie: No, Mr. Monk, please. Mr. Monk, please.
Adrian Monk: It's my book. Let me see it. Let me see it. [Natalie eats the page] What are you doing?
Natalie: It's for your own good.

Adrian Monk: I know this sounds crazy, but I've seen this handwriting somewhere before.
Natalie: Where?
Adrian Monk: I don't know. Somewhere.
Lieutenant Disher: Well, he's obviously disguising it. He probably uses his left hand.
Natalie: That makes sense.
Lieutenant Disher: Or if he was a lefty he used his right hand.
Natalie: That makes sense.
Lieutenant Disher: Or if he was ambidextrous, he probably got drunk and then wrote it.
Natalie: That makes less sense.

[fantasy:]
Adrian Monk: I'm talking about her Silver Globe Award. You didn't really earn this, did you?
Kathy Cooper: I don't know what you're talking about.
Adrian Monk: Here's what happened. Thirty-five years ago after this show was cancelled, your career was in trouble.
Kathy Cooper: I'm not listening.
Adrian Monk: And when you were nominated for this award, you knew it was your last chance, and you would do anything to win. You met a fan named Victor Timlinson. He told you where he worked. It was the luckiest break of your career. He worked for an accounting firm called Fineman and Kelly. They tabulated the ballots for all the big award shows. Including the Silver Globes. He worked in the mail room, witch meant his the first person to see the ballots. I don't know how you did it. Maybe you paid him off. Or flirted with him. But somehow you convinced him to rig the final tally. Years went by, you probably figured you'd never see him again. But when he read about your big book deal, Mr. Timlinson reappeared. He got greedy. He tried to shake you down. He threatened to tell the world the truth about how you really won this. And you knew if you paid him, he'd eventually want more. They always do. So you decided to kill him.
Kathy Cooper: That's crazy talk.
Adrian Monk: You set him up! You sent those letters to yourself. You even blew up your own car. On Monday night, you arranged to meet him at that motel. Or should I say, you arranged to murder him in cold blood. You shot him. You planted that knife in his hand and those letters in his coat.
Mrs. Cooper: Kathy, we've talked about this. Killing people is never the answer.
Mr. Cooper: I'm afraid you're grounded, young lady.
Kathy Cooper: It's not fair. He doesn't have any proof. The D.A. is gonna laugh you out of his office.
Adrian Monk: I don't think so, 'cause I found this in Timlinson's apartment in a hollowed-out book. The original ballots. Timlinson must have kept a couple as an insurance policy.