Captain Stottlemeyer Quote #364
Quote from Captain Stottlemeyer in Mr. Monk and the Miracle
Owen McCloskey: Captain Stottlemeyer! Feeling better?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Eh, not really.
Owen McCloskey: My brother-in-law had a bad back. You know what fixed it?
Captain Stottlemeyer: What?
Owen McCloskey: Acupuncture. He swears by it.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Been there. Done that. I've tried everything. I've tried crystals, acupuncture... This morning, I was at the monastery in Franklin Park drinking water from the fountain.
Owen McCloskey: Oh, yeah, it was on the news. The miracle fountain. Any luck?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Not yet.
Owen McCloskey: Well, maybe it's a time-release miracle.
‘Mr. Monk and the Miracle’ Quotes
Quote from Adrian Monk
Adrian Monk: Captain. Captain. Captain, you can't go to Spain without knowing the truth.
Man: Ssh.
Adrian Monk: It wasn't a miracle. The water, the fountain, it was all a hoax.
Natalie: I'm sorry, captain.
Adrian Monk: It was the pharmacist, Owen McCloskey.
Natalie: He killed Willie T.
Captain Stottlemeyer: [chants with monks]
Adrian Monk: [deep, in tune with chant] Here's what happened. McCloskey killed his partner and buried him here. Nine years later, planning to renovate, body would be discovered.
Natalie: [ditto] He couldn't dig up the body. They had built a fountain there.
Adrian Monk: He had to stop them from digging. He started changing their prescriptions to make his patients sicker.
Natalie: That's why you never got better.
Adrian Monk: He did it to everyone. He painted that sign on your door. Willie the bum must have seen him. That's why McCloskey killed him.
All: Amen.
Quote from Adrian Monk
Natalie: Sorry I'm late.
Adrian Monk: What's that?
Natalie: I forgot the gravy for Monday night, the big dinner.
Adrian Monk: You wasted a trip. They make their own gravy.
Natalie: Who makes their own gravy?
Adrian Monk: Bums.
Natalie: "Bums make their own gravy." What does that even mean?
Adrian Monk: You don't wanna know.
Quote from Adrian Monk
Natalie: Mr. Monk, look at all these people. They really believe in it.
Adrian Monk: Well, they're people. They'll believe anything.
Natalie: Mr. Monk, you should try it. You should drink from the fountain.
Adrian Monk: You can't be serious.
Natalie: You're in so much pain all the time, you know? What if there's something to it? You know? I mean, anything's possible.
Adrian Monk: That's not exactly true. A lot of things are what we call impossible. It's the opposite of possible. I get it. I'll give you an example. Um, this.