Natalie: Mr. Monk, look, look, look! A toaster! It's in perfect condition!
Adrian Monk: No. No, thank you.
Natalie: Look, it's five dollars. Please, I'll pay for it.
Adrian Monk: Natalie, it's used. I'm not gonna make food in somebody else's toaster. Unless I'm wrong, that's how the bubonic plague got started.
Natalie: That's not true.
Adrian Monk: I said, unless I'm wrong.

Natalie: There's nobody out there.
Lieutenant Disher: No. Wait. No, there is somebody out there. And I know he's watching. I can feel it, you son of a bitch. He's looking right at this thing. Oh, I hate this guy.
[Outside, "Call 911 U Silver Bastar" crawls across the ticker. After the living statue's watch beeps, he climbs off his podium and pulls out his cell phone.]
Living Statue: Yeah, I'm here at Vincent Place, in front of the bank. I think you better get down here.

Captain Stottlemeyer: Do you know if it's a boy or a girl?
Gloria Morales: It's a boy.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Good for you.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Got names picked out?
Gloria Morales: We haven't decided yet. What's your name?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Leland.
Gloria Morales: We haven't decided yet.