Lieutenant Disher Quote #212

Quote from Lieutenant Disher in Mr. Monk and the Naked Man

Captain Stottlemeyer: Mr. Magneri. Sir, we need to get you to the hospital.
Peter Magneri: Hospital?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Trust me, sir. You're a very sick man. I'll explain everything on the way.
Medic: He's right, sir. I've seen your X-rays. We've got an ambulance waiting downstairs.
Peter Magneri: X- ray?
Lieutenant Disher: Hi. Remember me? Listen, I don't want to upset you or anything, but, uh my MagnaPod died.
No, I-I bought another one. And, uh, it's the second one I've bought in three months.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Randy, give it a rest.
Lieutenant Disher: No, it's no big deal. You see, it just keeps getting stuck on "menu." So, I mean, and my Walkman never did that.
Peter Magneri: Well, get yourself another Walkman! Leave me alone.


 ‘Mr. Monk and the Naked Man’ Quotes

Quote from Adrian Monk

Adrian Monk: There's something I never told you. Something happened when I was a boy. There was an incident. With a... With a man.
Dr. Kroger: Who was that?
Adrian Monk: I'd never seen him before. Stranger.
Dr. Kroger: How old were you?
Adrian Monk: I don't remember. Young. I was so small. I remember... [getting emotional] I remember... I was naked.
Dr. Kroger: Take your time.
Adrian Monk: I was so naked. I just hated being naked. And I remember I was crying. And then he hit me.
Dr. Kroger: Adrian, I'm so sorry.
Adrian Monk: There was blood. There was blood everywhere. I was screaming. I wanted him to stop. And my mother... My mother was smiling.
Dr. Kroger: W- W- Wait, your- your mother was there?
Adrian Monk: Why didn't she stop him? She was supposed to protect me. He kept hitting me. Swinging me around upside down, and...
Dr. Kroger: You were upside down? Was he wearing a mask?
Adrian Monk: Yeah. I never wanted to be naked again.
Dr. Kroger: Adrian, that man was a doctor. You're remembering your own birth.
Adrian Monk: Doctor? Doctor?
Dr. Kroger: Anybody else, I wouldn't have believed it. But you...
Adrian Monk: Doctor? Well, that would explain a lot, actually. The lights, and my father in the doorway holding a balloon. [sighs]

Quote from Adrian Monk

Adrian Monk: Okay. He slipped through the bars and out the bathroom window.
Captain Stottlemeyer: How?
Adrian Monk: He wiggled through. He's a nudist. They're all double-jointed.
Lieutenant Disher: They are?
Adrian Monk: Randy. Don't be so naive. They're not like us. All right, look, I-I have a theory. I- I think- I think they secrete a fluid. It's like an oil. It's odorless, but I can smell it. It makes them all slippery. They can wiggle through anything. They're like slugs.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Monk, nobody wiggled through anything. There was a guard on duty all night.
Adrian Monk: Then he's in on it too. He's one of them.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Well, what about the 20 cops that are outside?
Adrian Monk: They're all in on it! Don't you see? It's a cabal.
Lieutenant Disher: What?
Adrian Monk: A cabal. It's a secret society. Sometimes they're naked. Sometimes they go around dressed to confuse us.
Natalie: Well, they're certainly doing that.
Adrian Monk: Have you read their literature? I have. They want to convert us all. And they won't stop until we're all like them, on beaches, in parks, hanging out everything hanging out. Hanging and hanging. Captain, there's only one way to deal with them. We gotta ship them back.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Ship them back where, Monk?
Adrian Monk: Exactly.

 Lieutenant Randy Disher Quotes

Quote from Mr. Monk and the Class Reunion

Lieutenant Disher: Captain? I tracked down Kalimarakis. I don't think he's our guy. Number one, it turns out he was allowed to join the Olympic swim team as an alternate. He, uh, got a waiver.
Captain Stottlemeyer: So there's no motive.
Lieutenant Disher: Right. Number two, he's dead. He died in 1995. And number three, he moved to Europe in the late '80s. So there's no record of him ever returning-
Captain Stottlemeyer: Randy. Randy, excuse me. I'm sorry to interrupt you but could you read number two again?
Lieutenant Disher: Okeydoke. He's dead.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Right. See, I probably would have stopped reading after number two. In fact, I would have read number two first.
Lieutenant Disher: You would have switched 'em?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Yeah. But that's just me. And probably every other adult on the planet Earth.

Quote from Mr. Monk Is the Best Man

Lieutenant Disher: So who's on your short list?
Captain Stottlemeyer: I've been at this all morning. Most of these guys are either in jail or dead.
Lieutenant Disher: Yeah, or both.
Captain Stottlemeyer: No. Nobody is both.