Captain Stottlemeyer Quote #246
Quote from Captain Stottlemeyer in Mr. Monk, Private Eye
Captain Stottlemeyer: Randy, that man lied to us. I need to talk to him again.
Lieutenant Disher: Yes, sir. Oh, by the way, my cousin saw your profile on Make-A-Date.net. I didn't know you like bossa nova.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Uh, that was, um... It was... There was an undercover sting operation going on with Vice. And... Okay, I admit it. I, um, I signed on. I was curious. Tell your cousin that I was just joking around.
Lieutenant Disher: That's okay. You can tell her yourself. You've been talking to her all week. She's Sexy In Sonoma.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Wait, that's your cousin?
Lieutenant Disher: When did you put in a hot tub?
Captain Stottlemeyer: I didn't put in a hot tub.
Lieutenant Disher: She said you put in a hot tub.
Captain Stottlemeyer: I had a hot tub when I was at the motel.
Lieutenant Disher: Oh, that must be it.
‘Mr. Monk, Private Eye’ Quotes
Quote from Adrian Monk
Adrian Monk: Wait. I can't go. The boat is on the water. I don't do water.
Natalie: You can't swim?
Adrian Monk: To be honest, I don't know.
Natalie: You don't know.
Adrian Monk: I mean, I know how to swim technically. I've just never actually, you know, done it. All right, I took a correspondence course.
Natalie: You learned to swim by mail?
Adrian Monk: They sent me a little diploma. And this.
Natalie: "Swimming Fundamentals. Don't panic. Breathe normally. Keep kicking."
Adrian Monk: Can I have that back?
Natalie: Why did you even take the course? You never go near the water.
Adrian Monk: Hello? Tsunamis.
Quote from Natalie
Natalie: Okay, there it is. That's his boat. All right, so his car wasn't in the lot, so, uh... Let's do it.
Adrian Monk: Wait. Don't. We don't have a warrant.
Natalie: We don't need a warrant. It's a boat.
Adrian Monk: Well, that's completely false, but it sounds good.
Natalie: Let's do it.
Quote from Adrian Monk
Natalie: Okay, so I've been thinking about this. And, uh I think you should start your own company. Be a private investigator. I mean, really go for it. Hire a PR person. Be aggressive. Advertise. Get new clients.
Adrian Monk: Uh...
Natalie: Mr. Monk, there are other detectives out there with a fraction of your talent who are getting rich. You're Adrian Monk. People will pay a fortune to hire you.
Adrian Monk: Yeah, that's something to think about.
Natalie: I thought you'd say that, so I did what Grandpa Neville did, and I took the initiative.
Adrian Monk: "A. Monk. Private Investigations" $85? That's 85 cents a card.
Natalie: Mr. Monk, that doesn't matter. You can't be afraid to take risks.
Adrian Monk: I think I can. In fact, I think I already am. Hold on. Germs, heights, snakes, milk, needles, risk. Yeah, it's on there. Number six.