Adrian Monk: Okay, uh, here's the thing, Mr. Mayor. Even if I do find the man who killed Jimmy Cusack, even if the strike ends tomorrow, it's not gonna solve the big problem.
Mayor Ray Nicholson: What problem is that?
Adrian Monk: Your Honor, we have got to... You've got to face facts. The city is ruined forever. It's a total loss. Even if we clean up all the garbage tomorrow, we'll never get the stink out. It's like the dining room carpet when the cat makes a... a B.M. on there. I mean, what do you? You don't have any choice really. You gotta replace the carpet! You gotta- You gotta get rid of the cat. And you can never eat in that dining room again, can you? No, you can't. But, I do have a plan. I have a plan.
Mayor Ray Nicholson: Oh, good.
Adrian Monk: Yes, sir. It just came to me last night in a vision. One, we evacuate the city. Every man, woman, and child.
Mayor Ray Nicholson: Evacuate?
Adrian Monk: Two! We burn it down We just burn it. Scorched earth. Then, just to be safe, we collect all the ashes. And what do we do? We burn the ashes. Three. We bring everybody back and we start over. Think of it. Just think of it. We rebuild San Francisco. From scratch. Start fresh. Everything clean. Everything brand-new. Gonna have that new city smell. Fresh off the lot. We can even straighten out Lombard Street while we're at it.

Captain Stottlemeyer: You solved the case?
Adrian Monk: Take a look, take a look, take a little look. This was stapled to a telephone pole that was right in front of us the whole time. He's the guy!
Captain Stottlemeyer: Who's the guy?
Lieutenant Disher: Alice Cooper?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Are you telling us that Alice Cooper, the rock star, killed Jimmy Cusack?
Adrian Monk: First off, I don't think Alice Cooper is his real name. Take a closer look. He is sitting in an antique wingback chair. The same kind of chair Jimmy Cusack was sitting in when he was killed. Check this out.
Captain Stottlemeyer: What?
Adrian Monk: Check out the date. April 5th. Monday night. Same night as the murder. Coincidence?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Yeah, coincidence.
Adrian Monk: Ah, no. No, we were- We were looking at this case all wrong. 'Cause it never was about Cusack. It was never about the garbage strike. And it was never about the Sanitation Union. It was about the chair. The antique chair. The antique wingback Cusack chair! Here's what happened. It is no secret that rock and roll stars collect antiques. Especially antique chairs.
Captain Stottlemeyer: What the hell are you talking about?
Adrian Monk: Alice Cooper must have read about Jimmy Cusack's handcrafted wingback chair. He was consumed with envy! He was consumed with resentment! Alice had to possess the fairest antique wingbackchair in all the land.
Lieutenant Disher: Should I be writing this down?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Nope.
Adrian Monk: It's true. Alice Cooper is a hippie. But he's the bad kind of hippie. He's the kind of hippie that breaks into people's offices and beats them up and shoots them in the head. Why? To steal their antique chairs.
Lieutenant Disher: Why didn't he take the chair?
Adrian Monk: Hello! It had a bullet hole in it. It had blood on it. He didn't want it anymore.
Lieutenant Disher: He could have washed it.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Randy. I don't think we need to stand here and pick apart the Alice-Cooper-wants an-antique-chair theory.
Adrian Monk: If you will excuse me, I have a city to clean. One bag at a time! One bag at a time. One bag at a time. One bag at a time.

Captain Stottlemeyer: Hey, Monk! How you doing?
Adrian Monk: So far so fabulous! I've done seven, eight, nine houses.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Well, good for you. That looks great. You intend to clean up the entire city up by yourself?
Adrian Monk: Well that's the plan, Stan. Street by street. One bag at a time. One bag at a time. One bag at a time.
Lieutenant Disher: Where you gonna put the garbage?
Adrian Monk: I got it all figured. When this truck's full, gonna drive it into the bay. Then come back, get another truck. Keep driving 'em into the bay. One bag at a time. One truck at a time. One bag at a time. One truck at time.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Well, so long as you got a plan.
Adrian Monk: Yeah!