Lieutenant Disher Quote #138

Quote from Lieutenant Disher in Mr. Monk Gets Jury Duty

Captain Stottlemeyer: Hello, Miguel! And you must be the fiancee. Aren't you supposed to be upstairs?
Lieutenant Disher: Some people will do anything to get out of jury duty. Step down, please.


 ‘Mr. Monk Gets Jury Duty’ Quotes

Quote from Natalie

Adrian Monk: Your honor, I will not be able to serve today, unfortunately. For a number of reasons. First off... There's the bathroom situation. I can't share a bathroom. I just can't. You can ask Natalie. Natalie?
Natalie: Yeah, he's persnickety. He's very persnickety. He's persnickety squared.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Natalie: Good morning. Picked up your mail. What is going on?
Adrian Monk: Oh, I'm having fun. I love this stuff.
Natalie: Yeah, so I see.
Adrian Monk: You know, I usually don't like shaking hands, but I ever met the man invented Tupperware, I would shake his hand.
Natalie: I think he might be dead.
Adrian Monk: Well, I would still shake his hand, because he's probably perfectly preserved. All right, look. It's virtually airtight. Look at this.

 Lieutenant Randy Disher Quotes

Quote from Mr. Monk and the Class Reunion

Lieutenant Disher: Captain? I tracked down Kalimarakis. I don't think he's our guy. Number one, it turns out he was allowed to join the Olympic swim team as an alternate. He, uh, got a waiver.
Captain Stottlemeyer: So there's no motive.
Lieutenant Disher: Right. Number two, he's dead. He died in 1995. And number three, he moved to Europe in the late '80s. So there's no record of him ever returning-
Captain Stottlemeyer: Randy. Randy, excuse me. I'm sorry to interrupt you but could you read number two again?
Lieutenant Disher: Okeydoke. He's dead.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Right. See, I probably would have stopped reading after number two. In fact, I would have read number two first.
Lieutenant Disher: You would have switched 'em?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Yeah. But that's just me. And probably every other adult on the planet Earth.

Quote from Mr. Monk Is the Best Man

Lieutenant Disher: So who's on your short list?
Captain Stottlemeyer: I've been at this all morning. Most of these guys are either in jail or dead.
Lieutenant Disher: Yeah, or both.
Captain Stottlemeyer: No. Nobody is both.