Lieutenant Disher Quote #123
Quote from Lieutenant Disher in Mr. Monk Goes to the Dentist
Lieutenant Disher: I think that he, Dr. Bloom and his assistant Terri, I mean, I think they murdered someone.
Captain Stottlemeyer: You saw it?
Lieutenant Disher: Yeah, sort of. I was sedated.
Captain Stottlemeyer: You were sedated? Randy, one time, I was under anesthesia. I thought my moustache was a chipmunk.
Detective Patterson: I was the Green Lantern once. It was great. I didn't wanna wake up.
Lieutenant Disher: Look, I was supposed to be out for 30 minutes. But I was under for almost two hours.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Was there a body?
Lieutenant Disher: No.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Any signs of struggle?
Lieutenant Disher: No.
Captain Stottlemeyer: And who did they kill?
Lieutenant Disher: I don't know. It was a guy. Male, Caucasian, 5'11", 200 pounds. They were arguing about Barry Bonds. And I'm pretty sure that I can ID him.
Detective Patterson: The baseball player?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Yeah. I think this guy thought Dr. Bloom kidnapped Barry Bonds. I mean, they were arguing about how much Barry Bonds was worth.
Detective Patterson: Hey, you know, if your dentist played baseball, you know what team he'd play for? The Yanks. Get it? [Stottlemeyer laughs]
Lieutenant Disher: It's not funny.
Captain Stottlemeyer: It's a little funny, Randy. Look, why don't you, um take a walk. Clear you head. Here, drop this off at Monk's. He's waiting for this. Then take the rest of the day off, okay? Go to the movies, go to the beach. Okay? Get out of here. I'll call you later.
‘Mr. Monk Goes to the Dentist’ Quotes
Quote from Adrian Monk
Captain Stottlemeyer: You and Monk were there, right? Did you notice anything?
Adrian Monk: No, I wasn't really on my game. I have this thing about dentists. Kroger calls it a supermegaphobia. If germs are here and snakes are here, the dentists are... You see that branch up there? The second one from the top? The one above that one.
Quote from Lieutenant Disher
Lieutenant Disher: [sings] I'm tired of sucking up And I'm tired of sucking up and working for the man Keeping people down 'cause the law says I can Cuff my brothers and sisters that's not the way to be But honey those days are gone Cause baby I am free I don't need a badge to tell me wrong from right I don't need a badge to tell me day from night I don't need a badge because my eyes can see I don't need a badge 'cause baby I am free.
Quote from Adrian Monk
Natalie: Mr. Monk, this is Randy we're talking about. He would do anything for you.
Adrian Monk: And I would do anything for him except this, Natalie. I can't do it. I have a thing about dentists.
Natalie: You have a thing about everything.
Adrian Monk: That's true, but dentists are in a separate category altogether, okay? I can't even discuss it. I can't even think about discussing it. I can't even talk about thinking about discussing it.
Natalie: Okay, Mr. Monk, everybody's afraid of dentists.
Adrian Monk: Not like this. Not like this.
Natalie: Okay, okay, okay. How afraid are you? On a scale of 1 to 10.
Adrian Monk: Ha, 10? I am so far beyond 10, I laugh at your 10s. I lie awake at night dreaming about 10s. The chair and the probing and the drilling and the rinsing.