Adrian Monk: You work for Michael Karpov.
Captain Stottlemeyer: We always suspected there was a cop on his payroll.
Adrian Monk: You killed Chicklet, didn't you? That's why you didn't shoot him. 'cause you knew the bullet could be traced back to your weapon. Here's what happened. You lured Chicklet to the junk yard. But he fought back. He must've hit you. You were bleeding. You lost a tooth. And you had a big problem. Your DNA was all over that crime scene. And the cops were on the way. You didn't have time to clean it up. You put your uniform on. You returned to the scene. But you knew forensics would be there any minute. What to do? What to do? Then you had an idea. If you picked a fight with someone, if you could provoke them and get them to hit you, you'd be home free. They could find your tooth, your DNA, your blood. And nobody would ever question it.
Karen Stottlemeyer: You told my husband we were sleeping together so that he would hit you?
Sergeant Sharkey: Okay, would you stop. You can't prove any of this.
Captain Stottlemeyer: I think we can. We can connect you to Karpov. We'll pull your phone bills, your e-mails, your bank accounts.
Sergeant Sharkey: Yeah, I think you might need a little more than that.
Gerald: That's the guy. I've been telling you guys all day. I saw him at the junk yard. That's the guy. [taking Sergeant Sharkey's apple] Oh, hey, are you done with that? It's not for me. It's for Devo. He's had a pretty rough day.
Adrian Monk: That mouse was in my pocket. It was in my pocket.
Lieutenant Disher: Let's go, Sharkey.