Adrian Monk Quote #931
Quote from Adrian Monk in Mr. Monk Goes to the Office
Abby: So you from Chicago? It's too cold for me. Not that the weather here is much better. The kitchenette. Some of the food in that machine is still edible.
Adrian Monk: Office humor. I love it.
Abby: Sales department's down there. This is accounting. We're redecorating the whole office. Do you smoke? If you do, the smoke detector in the break room's usually broken, if you know what I mean.
Adrian Monk: Isn't that kind of a fire hazard?
Abby: I hope so. If we're lucky, this whole frigging place'll burn down. Here's your parking pass. If you park in the garage, make sure someone walks you downstairs. We had a problem there two nights ago.
Adrian Monk: Oh, I heard about that. Why do you think someone would wanna break Kemp's hand?
Abby: Probably someone who heard him playing piano at last year's Christmas party.
Adrian Monk: Oh, more office humor. That's good. This is you. Home sweet home.
Adrian Monk: This is me? It's perfect.
Abby: Yeah. It's a dream come true.
Monk Quotes
‘Mr. Monk Goes to the Office’ Quotes
Quote from Adrian Monk
Chilton Handy: He can't bowl if he's not wearing regulation footwear. That's a rule.
Abby: Fine! We'll just rent him a pair of shoes. What size are you?
Adrian Monk: Uh, here's the thing. When you say, "rent a pair," you're talking about footwear that other people have already worn?
Abby: That's right.
Adrian Monk: On my feet? Here, here's the thing. I don't like to share anything.
Frances: Fine. Let's just buy him a new pair.
Chilton Handy: Pro shop's closed. So what's it gonna be? If he doesn't bowl, you forfeit.
Greg: Here. We're about the same size. [Monk inspects Fred's shoes]
Abby: What the hell are you looking at? They're just shoes. Just put them on.
Adrian Monk: Here's the thing.
Abby: Okay, stop saying, "here's the thing." Just put on these shoes for 20 seconds. Then you can take them right off.
Adrian Monk: 20 seconds? I don't know.
Chilton Handy: So you forfeit?
Abby: Listen. We've been waiting five years to beat these creeps. All you have to do is put on Greg's shoes and roll the freaking ball.
Adrian Monk: I can't.
Quote from Natalie
Natalie: I used to work in a place like this. I lasted about two weeks. You do the same thing every day.
Adrian Monk: [exited] The same thing.
Natalie: After a while, you begin to feel like a number.
Adrian Monk: A number.
Natalie: You're just like everybody else.
Adrian Monk: Everybody else.
Natalie: You're basically a drone.
Adrian Monk: A drone?
Quote from Lieutenant Disher
Lieutenant Disher: Captain, this just came in. I think you better sit down.
Captain Stottlemeyer: What is it?
Lieutenant Disher: I really think you ought to sit down, sir.
Captain Stottlemeyer: I don't want to sit down, Randy. What is it?
Lieutenant Disher: It's pretty big, sir.
Captain Stottlemeyer: What is it?
Lieutenant Disher: Okay. Sir, it's just that when I got the call, I was sitting down, and I'm really glad I was.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Somebody die? [Randy looks off to the side] Is anybody hurt? [Randy looks off to the side] [Stottlemeyer sits down at his desk]
Lieutenant Disher: I just got off the phone with the SEC. They're investigating Warren Kemp for insider trading.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Is that it?
Lieutenant Disher: There's definitely a leak. And they're pretty sure that it's coming from inside the firm. One theory is that it's Warren Kemp himself. But he was having second thoughts, so our guy breaks his hand as a warning to keep him in line.
Captain Stottlemeyer: And that's it?
Lieutenant Disher: [checks the file] Yes, sir.
Captain Stottlemeyer: And you had me sit down for that?
Lieutenant Disher: No. No, it wasn't just that. I mean, you looked a little bit tired. Is that my phone?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Your phone?
Lieutenant Disher: [takes out cell phone] Disher. Uh-huh. Yeah. I gotta take this, sir. Yeah, no, no, no. I'm on my way.