Adrian Monk Quote #937
Quote from Adrian Monk in Mr. Monk Goes to the Office
Adrian Monk: So Is it hard to work together and, and be in a relationship?
Frances: What?
Adrian Monk: [to Abby and Greg] The two of you are having a thing, right?
Abby: Why do you say that?
Adrian Monk: Well, your shirt, there's a hole on the end of your collar. Greg was wearing that same shirt yesterday. Plus, you're using the same shampoo and the same deodorant. And today, Greg walked in with your umbrella. [everyone chuckles]
Greg: You should be a detective.
Adrian Monk: No, no, I couldn't be a detective. I could never be a detective. They're lonely. They're, they're very lonely and sad. They don't have a gang. A gang from the office. [all laugh]
Monk Quotes
‘Mr. Monk Goes to the Office’ Quotes
Quote from Adrian Monk
Chilton Handy: He can't bowl if he's not wearing regulation footwear. That's a rule.
Abby: Fine! We'll just rent him a pair of shoes. What size are you?
Adrian Monk: Uh, here's the thing. When you say, "rent a pair," you're talking about footwear that other people have already worn?
Abby: That's right.
Adrian Monk: On my feet? Here, here's the thing. I don't like to share anything.
Frances: Fine. Let's just buy him a new pair.
Chilton Handy: Pro shop's closed. So what's it gonna be? If he doesn't bowl, you forfeit.
Greg: Here. We're about the same size. [Monk inspects Fred's shoes]
Abby: What the hell are you looking at? They're just shoes. Just put them on.
Adrian Monk: Here's the thing.
Abby: Okay, stop saying, "here's the thing." Just put on these shoes for 20 seconds. Then you can take them right off.
Adrian Monk: 20 seconds? I don't know.
Chilton Handy: So you forfeit?
Abby: Listen. We've been waiting five years to beat these creeps. All you have to do is put on Greg's shoes and roll the freaking ball.
Adrian Monk: I can't.
Quote from Natalie
Natalie: I used to work in a place like this. I lasted about two weeks. You do the same thing every day.
Adrian Monk: [exited] The same thing.
Natalie: After a while, you begin to feel like a number.
Adrian Monk: A number.
Natalie: You're just like everybody else.
Adrian Monk: Everybody else.
Natalie: You're basically a drone.
Adrian Monk: A drone?
Quote from Lieutenant Disher
Lieutenant Disher: Captain, this just came in. I think you better sit down.
Captain Stottlemeyer: What is it?
Lieutenant Disher: I really think you ought to sit down, sir.
Captain Stottlemeyer: I don't want to sit down, Randy. What is it?
Lieutenant Disher: It's pretty big, sir.
Captain Stottlemeyer: What is it?
Lieutenant Disher: Okay. Sir, it's just that when I got the call, I was sitting down, and I'm really glad I was.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Somebody die? [Randy looks off to the side] Is anybody hurt? [Randy looks off to the side] [Stottlemeyer sits down at his desk]
Lieutenant Disher: I just got off the phone with the SEC. They're investigating Warren Kemp for insider trading.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Is that it?
Lieutenant Disher: There's definitely a leak. And they're pretty sure that it's coming from inside the firm. One theory is that it's Warren Kemp himself. But he was having second thoughts, so our guy breaks his hand as a warning to keep him in line.
Captain Stottlemeyer: And that's it?
Lieutenant Disher: [checks the file] Yes, sir.
Captain Stottlemeyer: And you had me sit down for that?
Lieutenant Disher: No. No, it wasn't just that. I mean, you looked a little bit tired. Is that my phone?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Your phone?
Lieutenant Disher: [takes out cell phone] Disher. Uh-huh. Yeah. I gotta take this, sir. Yeah, no, no, no. I'm on my way.