Adrian Monk Quote #923
Quote from Adrian Monk in Mr. Monk Stays in Bed
Adrian Monk: [on the phone, unaware Dennison has picked up Natalie's phone] Natalie. Natalie, here's what happened. This lawyer, Dennison, was having an affair with Judge Garr. She came to his house last night. And at some point they decided to order a pizza. Somehow things turned ugly. Maybe they had a fight. We'll probably never know what it was about. But he killed her. He killed her in that bathroom. But the delivery guy Julio must have seen the attack or heard something. And he tried to help her. He died trying to save her. Natalie, I'm gonna need those cough drops. Not the menthol. You, you, you know the kind. Anyway, Dennison had a problem. The pizzeria knew Julio's route. And Dennison knew that if Julio just disappeared, the cops would focus on him. They'd poke around. They'd ask a lot of questions. So he needed somebody else to be the last person who saw Julio alive. He decided to deliver one more pizza as Julio, to divert attention from himself. You were right, Natalie. Julio didn't deliver that pizza. The man who killed him did. He was smart, but he made two mistakes. Big mistakes. One, that blood you found on the bathroom light switch. If that's the judge's blood, and I think it is, he's going to jail for life. But even without that blood, we can still convict him. Mistake number two, his fingerprints are all over that pizza box he delivered. It's at the recycling dump. I'm sure they can find it if they have to. They just collected it this morning. [phone beeps] Oh, that's my other line, hold on. [switches line]
Natalie: Mr. Monk.
Adrian Monk: Yeah, Natalie, I'll call you back. I'm on the other line.
Natalie: Don't- [switches line] Where was I? Natalie? Natalie? Are you okay?
Reggie Dennison: Say one word to anybody, she's dead. Understand?
Features in the collection: Here's What Happened.
Monk Quotes
‘Here's What Happened’
Quote from Lieutenant Disher in Mr. Monk and the Actor
Lieutenant Disher: How you doin'? We were looking at this case all wrong. It wasn't a burglary. It was all about the wall. The whole time. Here's what happened. The killer was in here last Thursday night. This is where he met Michelle Cullman. They have an artist in here a few nights a week sketching the customers. He drew their picture right there on the wall. After the murder, the killer remembered the sketch. That sketch could hang him. It could prove that he was with the victim the night she died. And it would prove what he was wearing. The same shirt we found at the murder scene. He had to destroy that sketch. So he smashed through the wall and pretended it was part of a burglary. He just pretended to be breaking into a pawn shop. It was never about the pawnshop.
Female Cop: I know.
Lieutenant Disher: You know?
Female Cop: I was here ten minutes ago when Monk was explaining it to you.
Quote from Adrian Monk in Mr. Monk Gets Hypnotized
Lieutenant Disher: All right, well she told some paramedic that she loosened one of those baseboards. She pretended to be asleep. When he came back to check on her. Bam. Side of the head. [Monk laughs]
Captain Stottlemeyer: Monk, do you have something you'd like to share with the rest of us?
Adrian Monk: I can see his butt.
Natalie: Mr. Monk, the man is dead.
Adrian Monk: Yeah, of embarrassment! Sorry. I've got it. Here's what happened. Tuesday night, Larkin abducted his wife from that parking lot. He overpowered her. Maybe he drugged her. Then, he brought her up here. He kept her prisoner. For three days, he taunted her. He humiliated her. Something about some jewelry. He- He even refused to feed her. But last night he went a little too far. In all the excitement, his pants fell down. He killed himself. He didn't have a choice. She'd seen his hiney. [laughs]
Captain Stottlemeyer: I think we're done here.
‘Mr. Monk Stays in Bed’ Quotes
Quote from Lieutenant Disher
Lieutenant Disher: Did you hear anything? I mean, anybody yelling or screaming for help?
Natalie: Yeah, me. Does it ever get to you? Seeing people dead?
Lieutenant Disher: Yeah, it did for a while. But I got used to it.
Natalie: That must be awful. Getting used to it.
Lieutenant Disher: You know, it was pretty awful. But I got used to it. It's the worst part, you know. Getting used to it. Something you never really get used to.
Quote from Adrian Monk
Adrian Monk: It's not straight.
Natalie: Ha! The bubble's right in the middle.
Adrian Monk: The level's broken.
Natalie: The level is not broken, Mr. Monk. It can't be broken. It's a bubble on a stick. You have two levels?
Adrian Monk: I use this level to check the other levels. It's my level-checking level.
Julie Teeger: How do you know that one's not broken?
Adrian Monk: That's a good question. I take my level-checking level to the hardware store twice a year to have it recalibrated.
Quote from Adrian Monk
Adrian Monk: Could you turn this? Thank you. Well, that's good.
Captain Stottlemeyer: What is this thing?
Adrian Monk: It's a humidifier.
Captain Stottlemeyer: What's that one?
Adrian Monk: It's a dehumidifier.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Well, don't they cancel each other out?
Adrian Monk: Exactly.