Adrian Monk Quote #866
Quote from Adrian Monk in Mr. Monk and the Kid
Abigail Carlyle: How did you know?
Natalie: We followed you. We saw you at the pay phone, and then we saw you go to the bank and make a withdrawal. You must be Daniel's brother?
Jacob Carlyle: Jacob.
Adrian Monk: Mrs. Carlyle, when did they kidnap your son?
Abigail Carlyle: Wednesday. Feels like a year ago.
Jacob Carlyle: They cut off his finger to prove that they had him and, uh, when we went to retrieve it at the park it was all roped off, and there were police everywhere.
Natalie: Yes, a young boy found his finger before you got there. That's what led us to you.
Abigail Carlyle: You found us from his finger?
Monk Quotes
‘Mr. Monk and the Kid’ Quotes
Quote from Adrian Monk
Operator: 911. Emergency?
Adrian Monk: You've got to help me. Uh, look, I've just taken in a two-year-old boy. My, uh, assistant isn't home and I can't- I can't reach her. Oh. Oh, God. Oh.
Operator: Sir, what is the nature of your emergency?
Adrian Monk: It's everywhere. BM. It's BM. BM. BM. It's BM.
Operator: Sir, you have to stop saying BM now. Do you mean your child is soiling his diaper?
Adrian Monk: Yes. Yes, he's soiling his his diaper with, you know, with BM.
Operator: You mean you've never changed a diaper?
Adrian Monk: Hurry.
Operator: Okay, listen carefully. There should be two Velcro straps on the sides. Find the two straps.
Adrian Monk: Okay, I've got the straps.
Operator: Now rip 'em open.
Adrian Monk: Oh! Oh, oh, oh! Oh! Oh, my God. Oh, the humanity.
Operator: Okay, sir? All right, do you have any wipes?
Adrian Monk: Yes, I've got about 2,000.
Operator: That should be fine.
Adrian Monk: It's not going to be enough!
Operator: Sir, you're gonna have to wipe your son's bottom. [wails on the line] Sir, is the boy all right?
Adrian Monk: He's fine. That was me. Wait a minute. Oh, my God. He's making more.
Operator: I-ls it number one or number two?
Adrian Monk: It's one and two and... And... Oh, my God. It's... It's three. It's number three.
Operator: Sir, I'm afraid you're on your own. This line is for emergencies only.
Quote from Adrian Monk
Adrian Monk: "Once upon a time in a kingdom called San Francisco, there lived a brave little prince. And his name was Tommy Grazer. Tommy lived with a wicked king and queen. The queen was very greedy. She loved gold, and she wanted more and more. The queen had a plan. She would find a young fiddler from a wealthy family and kidnap him and hold him for ransom. They locked the fiddler in a dungeon. The fiddler's family was very sad. They would do anything to get him back. The wicked king and queen needed to prove that they were serious, so they chopped off the fiddler's finger and planned to leave it in the park. But Prince Tommy was very brave and very smart. He liked to reach into ladies' purses. He reached into the queen's purse and he grabbed the finger." That's where you found it, isn't it?
Tommy: Yeah.
Adrian Monk: "Then Tommy made a new friend named Mr. Monk. Mr. Monk remembered something that the wicked queen said: 'The kid found a pinkie. It's no big deal.' How did she know the missing finger was a pinkie? The police never released that information." And then, the most wonderful and surprising thing of all happened. Mr. Monk discovered that he loved that little prince. But he also realized that the little prince could never live happily ever after if he stayed at Mr. Monk's house, because Mr. Monk can barely take care of himself. And so, they're gonna have to say good-bye. The end.
Quote from Lieutenant Disher
Lab Tech: It is a left pinkie belonging to a male Caucasian about 25 years old. So far there's no match on the fingerprint. The digit was severed earlier today. We figure about 8:00 a.m., with some kind of gardening instrument, like pruning shears.
Natalie: They cut up a whole body with pruning shears?
Lieutenant Disher: No. Maybe they just cut off the fingers. That way, when they dumped the body later, there'd be no prints.
Adrian Monk: There's a callus.
Lab Tech: That's true. We think he might have played guitar.
Adrian Monk: No. Not guitar. It's at the wrong angle. He played the violin. There's some residue. It's sticky, like sap.
Lieutenant Disher: Tree sap. Lumberjack. A missing nine-fingered lumberjack.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Who plays the violin.
Lieutenant Disher: Should I put a list together?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Absolutely. Make sure you don't run out of paper.