Lieutenant Disher Quote #72
Quote from Lieutenant Disher in Mr. Monk Gets Cabin Fever
Lieutenant Disher: What does it say?
Hayley: [reads fortune cookie] "True love has finally come your way."
Lieutenant Disher: No way. It does not say that. It does not say that.
Hayley: Yes, it does. Look. Read it.
Lieutenant Disher: Wow.
Hayley: Maybe they know something.
Lieutenant Disher: Maybe they do. Okay. Here. Here is mine. "A friendly hand will save you from a dirty death."
Hayley: Really? Wow, that's weird.
‘Mr. Monk Gets Cabin Fever’ Quotes
Quote from Adrian Monk
Captain Stottlemeyer: Monk, are you sure? I mean, are you really sure? And don't give me any of that 95% crap.
Adrian Monk: Captain, I am 100% sure that she probably killed him.
Captain Stottlemeyer: What does that mean?
Adrian Monk: 95%.
Quote from Lieutenant Disher
Adrian Monk & Lieutenant Disher: [in unison] Oh, my God. I've got it. Here's what happened!
Lieutenant Disher: We didn't meet by accident.
Adrian Monk: She electrocuted him.
Lieutenant Disher: It was a set-up from the very beginning. Oh, I can see that now. God, I'm such an idiot!
Adrian Monk: She dropped the radio into the tub while he was bathing. She wanted to make it look like an act of God to collect the extra insurance.
Lieutenant Disher: Maybe I believed it because I wanted to believe it. All those fortunes were printed in advance, just for me!
Adrian Monk: She had to preserve the body until the storm came.
Natalie: That's why she bought those bags of ice.
Deputy Paul Coby: My head is spinning. Which one are you listening to?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Neither one.
Adrian Monk: She froze the body so the coroner would never know the time of death.
Lieutenant Disher: The first fortune predicted that I'd be saved from a dirty death which is exactly what happened when I left the restaurant.
Adrian Monk: Last night, during the storm, she put her husband in the boat, then cut it loose, waited a few hours, and then reported it as an accident.
Lieutenant Disher: Now I have to go back and arrest my girlfriend for conspiracy and attempted murder. She'll probably break up with me.
Quote from Natalie
Natalie: Okay, can I say something? I'm freaking out back here.
Adrian Monk: Why?
Natalie: Everywhere you go, every time you turn around, somebody is killing somebody else.
Captain Stottlemeyer: That's true.
Adrian Monk: What?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Well, there was the time you went on vacation, and then on the airplane...
Adrian Monk: These things happen.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Oh, and then that that stage play.
Adrian Monk: It happens.
Natalie: To you! Not to me, not to anybody else. It follows you around. You're not just unlucky, it's... It's something else.
Adrian Monk: Bad karma?
Natalie: You're like a magnet.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Bad karma.
Natalie: It's like you're causing it somehow. You're the Prince of Darkness.
Captain Stottlemeyer: No, no. He's not the Prince of Darkness. I've seen him vacuum the ceiling. You wouldn't see the Prince of Darkness vacuuming the ceiling.
Natalie: I can picture the Prince of Darkness vacuuming the ceiling to trick us. He's very tricky.
Adrian Monk: Stop calling me the Prince of Darkness. That's how rumors get started.