Adrian Monk Quote #522
Quote from Adrian Monk in Mr. Monk Goes to Jail
Adrian Monk: I think if you put-
Rastafarian Cook: Do you love me?
Adrian Monk: No, no, I-
Rastafarian Cook: Then don't be touchin' me!
Sharona: [to Monk] Please, please. Stand here. Please? [to the cook] Hey, hey. You've been in rehab, right?
Rastafarian Cook: How did you know?
Sharona: I'm a nurse. I can see the track marks. So you know about addiction, right? Okay. Well, my boss has a jones for neatness, okay?
Adrian Monk: It's my jones.
Sharona: And he needs a fix real bad.
Rastafarian Cook: You talkin' about my hair?
Sharona: You know what it's like.
Rastafarian Cook: It's the worst feeling in the world. Sorry, brother. [tucks in braid of hair]
Adrian Monk: Thank you, brother.
Rastafarian Cook: [goes to shake Monk's hand] Not like that. Like this. [does a "dap" handshake]
Adrian Monk: Can you get a wipe? I think we're almost done.
Monk Quotes
‘Mr. Monk Goes to Jail’ Quotes
Quote from Adrian Monk
Adrian Monk: Here. How about this? I'll pat myself down.
Guard: You're gonna pat yourself down?
Adrian Monk: I'm an honest man. I'm an ex-cop. You can trust me.
Guard: You're an ex-cop?
[Monk starts patting himself down. He pauses briefly to see the unimpressed reaction of the guard. As he resumes, he feels something in his own pocket]
Adrian Monk: Wait. Wait, wait. What's this? Oh, hey, hold on a second. What is this? Nail clippers? Where do I think I'm goin' with these? Can't bring that in here. I'll get these back when I leave.
Sharona: [to the guard] Thank you.
Adrian Monk: Thank you.
Quote from Adrian Monk
Nazi Inmate #1: I haven't beaten up a white boy in a long time.
Nazi Inmate #2: It'll come back to you. It's like ridin' a bike.
Adrian Monk: Excuse me. Excuse me. [reorients the inmate's Swastika pin] You'll thank me later.
Nazi Inmate #1: This is gonna be fun.
Adrian Monk: Okay, but before the fun, you might wanna return Spyder Rudner's watch.
Nazi Inmate #1: What?
Adrian Monk: The watch you stole from his cell. Uh, you can either give it to Spyder, or you can give it to me, or you can give it to Spyder.
Nazi Inmate #1: [hands over watch] You're gonna wish you were never born.
Adrian Monk: Oh, I'm way ahead of you.
Quote from Adrian Monk
Captain Stottlemeyer: I think you're right, but that still leaves us with the big question: Why would anybody bother to spike a condemned prisoner's last meal?
Adrian Monk: His last meal?
Warden Christie: He was scheduled to be executed at midnight.
Captain Stottlemeyer: What do you think?
Adrian Monk: I think I'm out of here. I'm going home.
Sharona: Adrian!
Adrian Monk: I'm not sure it matters who killed this guy. He was gonna die in 45 minutes anyway. Sharona, I hate this place. I-I-I can't breathe in here. It's like... It's like a prison.
Sharona: It is a prison!