Adrian Monk Quote #530
Quote from Adrian Monk in Mr. Monk Goes to Jail
Spyder Rudner: Hey, what happened to my watch?
Adrian Monk: Huh?
Spyder Rudner: Where the hell is my watch? It was right there! [pulls out his shiv and grabs Monk] My grandfather gave me that watch. Where is it?
Adrian Monk: I-I didn't take your watch. I swear.
Spyder Rudner: You better not be lyin' to me.
Adrian Monk: Do I look like an idiot? Listen. Look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, Spyder. Look, look. I'm- I'm pretty good at finding things. If I can find it... If I can find it, you-you tell me about Calgary.
Spyder Rudner: You find out who took the watch, we got a deal.
[Monk and Spyder perform a gang handshake. Halfway through, Monk pulls a card out of his pocket to check the correct steps.]
Monk Quotes
‘Mr. Monk Goes to Jail’ Quotes
Quote from Adrian Monk
Adrian Monk: Here. How about this? I'll pat myself down.
Guard: You're gonna pat yourself down?
Adrian Monk: I'm an honest man. I'm an ex-cop. You can trust me.
Guard: You're an ex-cop?
[Monk starts patting himself down. He pauses briefly to see the unimpressed reaction of the guard. As he resumes, he feels something in his own pocket]
Adrian Monk: Wait. Wait, wait. What's this? Oh, hey, hold on a second. What is this? Nail clippers? Where do I think I'm goin' with these? Can't bring that in here. I'll get these back when I leave.
Sharona: [to the guard] Thank you.
Adrian Monk: Thank you.
Quote from Adrian Monk
Nazi Inmate #1: I haven't beaten up a white boy in a long time.
Nazi Inmate #2: It'll come back to you. It's like ridin' a bike.
Adrian Monk: Excuse me. Excuse me. [reorients the inmate's Swastika pin] You'll thank me later.
Nazi Inmate #1: This is gonna be fun.
Adrian Monk: Okay, but before the fun, you might wanna return Spyder Rudner's watch.
Nazi Inmate #1: What?
Adrian Monk: The watch you stole from his cell. Uh, you can either give it to Spyder, or you can give it to me, or you can give it to Spyder.
Nazi Inmate #1: [hands over watch] You're gonna wish you were never born.
Adrian Monk: Oh, I'm way ahead of you.
Quote from Adrian Monk
Captain Stottlemeyer: I think you're right, but that still leaves us with the big question: Why would anybody bother to spike a condemned prisoner's last meal?
Adrian Monk: His last meal?
Warden Christie: He was scheduled to be executed at midnight.
Captain Stottlemeyer: What do you think?
Adrian Monk: I think I'm out of here. I'm going home.
Sharona: Adrian!
Adrian Monk: I'm not sure it matters who killed this guy. He was gonna die in 45 minutes anyway. Sharona, I hate this place. I-I-I can't breathe in here. It's like... It's like a prison.
Sharona: It is a prison!