Captain Stottlemeyer Quote #76
Quote from Captain Stottlemeyer in Mr. Monk Goes to the Theater
Captain Stottlemeyer: Excuse me, Your Honor. I would also like to mention that I have a consultant working on the case. He's a former homicide detective. He's somebody I respect a great deal, and, um, he has serious doubts about what happened.
Judge: What is his name?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Adrian Monk, Your Honor. He's, uh, in the courtroom, uh, and he's ready and willing to testify.
Judge: Oh, yes. I know Mr. Monk. Hello, Adrian.
Adrian Monk: Your Honor.
Judge: I, uh, presided over his last competency hearing. He couldn't testify until I adjusted my robe.
Captain Stottlemeyer: I remember.
Judge: You see, it had to be even.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Right.
‘Mr. Monk Goes to the Theater’ Quotes
Quote from Sharona
Sharona: Look, I might have told her some things that weren't exactly true.
Adrian Monk: Like what?
Sharona: Like, Benjy's on the honor roll.
Adrian Monk: Oh, okay. No problem.
Sharona: Okay, thanks. Oh! Oh, oh, oh. And... And I also told her that my rent is only $900 a month. And-And-And- And I broke up with Steve, the florist I was dating. He didn't break up with me. Oh, oh. Oh, oh. And also that I am seeing a really nice guy, Ronnie, who's a stockbroker, but he's out of town this weekend. Oh, oh! Oh, oh. And- And you you have a full medical plan, including dental. And, uh, I'm not your assistant. I'm your partner. Is that okay?
Adrian Monk: Yeah. Wow! Congratulations.
Sharona: Thank you.
Quote from Adrian Monk
Adrian Monk: Excuse me. Could I have my four dollars back?
Doorman: What?
Adrian Monk: We gave you 44 dollars.
Doorman: Yeah?
Adrian Monk: The bribe was only 40, so, you know...
Doorman: Are you for real?
Sharona: Will you come on?
Adrian Monk: O- Okay. Okay, but we have a four-dollar credit on any future bribes. I won't forget. I'm writing it down.
Quote from Adrian Monk
Adrian Monk: Did you happen to hear where she went?
Doorman: It's possible.
Sharona: Well- Well, where did she go? It's very important.
Doorman: Isn't it funny? I-I can't quite remember.
Adrian Monk: I get it. I get it. I get it. [gets wallet out] Memories are funny things. Uh, maybe this will help.
Doorman: Three dollars? Hey, buddy, I get three bucks for holding a door open.
Sharona: He wants more. Give him more.
Adrian Monk: He didn't do anything. I think three dollars is more than appropriate.
Sharona: Give him more.
Doorman: Oh, so we're up to four dollars now.
Adrian Monk: For 20 seconds of your time. I think that's not too shabby.
Sharona: You're the cheapest man I know. Here. Where'd she go?
Adrian Monk: What are you doing? Forty dollars?
Sharona: My sister's on death row. I think she's worth 40 dollars. Where'd she go?