Sharona: Why did you ask about his glasses?
Adrian Monk: So I could tell which photographs were the most recent. There are about 200 pictures in that room. They documented everything.
Sharona: And?
Adrian Monk: No bungee jumping. No skydiving. The most exciting thing Sidney Teal's done in the last two years is go to Disneyland.
Sharona: Not exactly Batman.
Adrian Monk: This guy? He was... What's the opposite of Batman?
Sharona: You are.

Willis: Look, truth is, I'll be out of a job soon, so if you're looking for a driver, let me know. Hey, is he a good boss?
Sharona: Well, my last paycheck bounced. I can't take a vacation because he can't live without me. And two nights ago, he called me at 4:00 a.m because he saw a cockroach.
Adrian Monk: It was pretty big.
Sharona: Yeah.

Captain Stottlemeyer: You just missed the deputy commissioner. Guess what he wanted to talk about? Murder rates sparking? The Sidney Teal investigation? No. All he wanted to know was what we're doing about the runaway cop.
Lieutenant Disher: Fraidy Cop.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Excuse me?
Lieutenant Disher: That's what they're calling him. We, uh, sort of pieced together the route he took. Uh, I don't know. Okay. After the shooting, three people saw him running west towards the park here, and on 19th, here, he flagged down a taxi.
Captain Stottlemeyer: He took a taxi?
Lieutenant Disher: Yeah, it gets worse. He, uh, threw up in the backseat. But we did get his blood type from the vomit. The taxi then, uh, dropped him off at a bar upon Geary Street there, where he sat in a booth at the back, apparently drinking bourbon and crying.
Captain Stottlemeyer: He was crying? Oh, dear Lord.
Lieutenant Disher: About midnight, an older woman in a brown station wagon was seen picking him up. Possibly his mother.
Captain Stottlemeyer: He called his mom?
Lieutenant Disher: Yeah.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Well, that son of a bitch better hope I don't find him first.