Adrian Monk: Where's your boyfriend?
Natalie: I sent him out. I told him I needed a special kind of shampoo.
Adrian Monk: Boy, it's like you have superpowers.
Natalie: It's a gift.
Adrian Monk: And a curse?
Natalie: No, just a gift.

Natalie: And so these are gonna go to his brother Ambrose's house, and those will go to my garage.
Moving Guy: All these books. What was he, a professor?
Natalie: No, a detective. An amazing detective. He could look at a room or a person and see things that nobody else could see.
Moving Guy: Like the car wash guy.
Natalie: Yeah. What car wash guy?
Moving Guy: The guy in Nevada. I was just reading about him. Here. It's in today's paper. They call him the "Car Wash Columbo." He solved a big hit-and-run case single-handedly. Yeah. Sounds like a real character. His boss says it takes him a whole hour to wipe down every car. Won't even use the same rag twice.
Natalie: Can I see that?
Moving Guy: Yeah.
Natalie: There's no picture.
Moving Guy: I guess he's modest too.
Natalie: "Leland Rodriguez." His name is Leland?

Natalie: [on the phone] Mr. Monk, it's Natalie Teeger. Yeah, I was calling to see if you still needed the assistant. No, I can't come tonight. Because I can't leave my daughter. Okay, okay, okay, just relax. How big is the spider?

Lieutenant Disher: Natalie. Natalie, hey. We found him.
Natalie: Is he okay?
Lieutenant Disher: We're not sure. Trucker saw one of the fliers, called in, said he dropped him off in Wyoming sometime yesterday.
Natalie: Wyoming?
Lieutenant Disher: It's a little town called Prunell. It's out in the middle of nowhere. The FBI's loaning us a jet and we can be there in 2 hours.
Natalie: But is he sure? Was it really Mr. Monk?
Lieutenant Disher: Trucker gave the guy 5 dollar bill, and the guy kept smoothing it out.
Natalie: Oh, he's alive!

Natalie: Okay, there it is. That's his boat. All right, so his car wasn't in the lot, so, uh... Let's do it.
Adrian Monk: Wait. Don't. We don't have a warrant.
Natalie: We don't need a warrant. It's a boat.
Adrian Monk: Well, that's completely false, but it sounds good.
Natalie: Let's do it.

Natalie: Wait. Wait a minute. When you caught that serial killer, that was number 100.
Adrian Monk: Right.
Natalie: Right, right. So this case with this TV host, This was a completely different case. Different killer, different case.
Adrian Monk: Oh, my God.
Natalie: Ha ha! So you're at 101.
Adrian Monk: Oh, my God. How did this happen?
Natalie: If you wanna stop at a nice round number, you have to get to 200.
Adrian Monk: 200?!

Shirt Salesman: How are you today? Do you see anything you like?
Adrian Monk: Is Dennis here? He usually takes care of me.
Shirt Salesman: Oh, no, I'm afraid Dennis quit.
Adrian Monk: He quit?
Shirt Salesman: Yeah, apparently he had one regular customer that was driving him crazy.
Natalie: Now, we're gonna be up all night wondering who that was.

Marci Maven: They think I killed Otto?!
Adrian Monk: Well, that would explain quite a bit.
Natalie: Makes a lotta sense.
Marci Maven: No, I-I don't do that, okay? I don't kill things I love.
Natalie: Well, that's reassuring.

Marci Maven: That's where they found her in the shed. He's doing it. That is so cool. I've got goose bumps. I really do. You wanna see?
Natalie: No, thank you.
Marci Maven: Bumpy. You have the best job in the world.
Natalie: Not today, I don't.
Marci Maven: Did you say something? 'Cause it sounded like you said something.

Adrian Monk: It's her! I get so flustered.
Natalie: Mr. Monk, you're not flustered. You're flattered. Who wouldn't be? She adores you. She knows everything about you. After all, you're only human.
Adrian Monk: There's no need for name-calling.
Natalie: You know what? On second thought, I think it's a great idea.
Adrian Monk: What are you doing?
Natalie: I'm calling a cab. I'm going home.
Adrian Monk: What?!
Natalie: I'm glad that this happened, actually. That woman is as obsessive and compulsive as you are. I want you to see what it's like. Go ahead. Hang out with her, work with her. I'll call you tomorrow. We'll compare notes.